Page 106 of Take a Moment

I look from Matt to Sasha, then Emmanuel, and they’re all grinning at me encouragingly.

‘OK, sure?’

There’s another whooping cheer.

‘I’m so glad you’re going to do it.’ Sasha leaps on me with another huge hug.

‘Well done,’ says Emmanuel. ‘Always remember, you have my full support.’

‘Thanks, Emmanuel. That means so much,’ I reply, then turn to Matt as the others disperse, nervous knots already forming in my stomach, but in a good way. ‘I’d better go and rehearse then.’

He slips his arms round my waist and pulls me towards him, planting a sensual kiss on my lips. ‘You go. I’ll be in the crowd with Sasha and Emmanuel, cheering you on.’

‘Make sure I can see you. I’ll need your support.’

‘You can count on that. Actually, before I go, is it really such a scary thought, me proposing to you?’

‘What? No.It’s not. It’s a wonderful thought that you might do that one day. Not sure I’d want it to be in front of a raft of people though.’

‘All right then. Noted.’ He plants another kiss on my lips and then heads off to join Sasha and Emmanuel at the bar.

Chapter 36

Just after 8:30 p.m., the curtain lifts and the band springs into action with its signature gig opener. A sea of concertgoers cheer loudly, bouncing on the spot, singing along to the music; a much bigger crowd than the one at the gig I did previously, and just as lively. Sammy takes the lead with the vocals as I wait just out of sight for the reintroduction he’s insisting on. It feels a bit odd to be reintroduced when I’d only managed one gig before – he’d be as well introducing me as a brand-new band member – but he wasn’t having any of it. I sing along to the music, flexing my nicely warmed-up voice, trying out some new vocal effects while no one can hear me.

As the song comes to an end, I brace myself, nerves jangling – but not to the level of the first time I walked on stage. That was such an amazing and exhilarating experience, it seems to have made a sizeable – and more importantly, lasting – dent in my stage fright.

‘GOOD EVENING, BIRMINGHAM,’ Sammy hollers into the microphone.

There’s a collective roaring cheer from the crowd.

‘I said, GOOD EVENING, BIRMINGHAM,’ he shouts again, louder this time.

The crowd match his volume increase.

‘It’s fantastic to see you all here tonight. Before we get going properly, I’d like to reintroduce our newest band member. She’s had to take some time away due to illness, but she’s back and she’s ready to rock your night. She’s an inspiration – please give a massive cheer for…Alex.’

At Sammy’s cue, I walk out onto the stage smiling and waving to the cheering crowd. It’s an odd and uncomfortable experience being the centre of attention, quite different to the previous gig. That time, Sammy didn’t introduce me, or any of the other band members. I can see he’s lifting it up a level, to give us that professional sheen. As he proceeds to give each of other band members a mention, I focus on steadying my nerves, making sure I’m breathing deeply, right into my abdomen.

Then before I know it, we’ve launched into the second song of the night (another one of the band’s own) with me at the helm. It feels electric. As I belt out the lyrics, my nerves melt away like ice thrown into a fire. Becoming lost in the rhythm and the beat from the drums, it’s like I’ve never been away.

I immediately know I’ve done the right thing rejoining the band. Emmanuel is right. This kind of happiness can only be good for me – the world’s healthiest drug. With my nerves fully in check, I begin to scan the audience, making eye contact here and there, smiling and connecting with our fan base.

Doing so, I spot familiar faces – lots of them. My gaze lands firstly on Matt, Sasha and Emmanuel in the front row, dancing around like idiots. Just near them, I spot my team members from work. My eyes lock with Dhruv’s. He’s bouncing on the spot, grinning and mouthing ‘You are insane’. But the biggest shock of all comes when I spot my mother, my sister and John on the far right-hand side. I’m so astonished, I miss a beat and turn to Sammy with an apologetic look. He simply grins back at me, shaking his head in a gesture of ‘forget it’. It’s clear he’s perfectly aware why I’ve faltered.

As I continue to sing my heart out, I look back towards my family. It’s like I’ve entered some kind of parallel universe. How on earth did they end up here? Carol’s doing a good enough job of trying to fit in, and John’s clearly enjoying the music, dancing like an embarrassing dad. But my mother looks like she’s been brought here with a gun to her back. Her stuffiness gives her the air of a French poodle living among a family of warthogs. Only the crazy mix of feelings I’m experiencing from having spotted the two of them – stunned surprise, delight and a touch of resentment – stops me from bursting into fits of laughter right there on the stage. As I watch them, Carol looks up and gives me an uncertain wave, then nudges my mother, who herself gives an awkward nod, and was that just the hint of a smile?

We continue with a mix of original tracks and covers back to back until Sammy gives me a nod that he’s going to say something at the end of the current song. Once I’ve wrapped up the final lines of ‘Sex on Fire’, I step back from the microphone to give Sammy centre stage. He stands there, arms stretched high in the air, as the crowd goes wild with applause.

‘Isn’t she incredible?’ he calls into the mic, and raucous cheering reverberates round the auditorium. ‘Oh yeah, she’s incredible. What Alex doesn’t know is that her final track of tonight is one that she herself wrote. It’s a bit different to our usual stuff, but we’re sure you’re going to love it. It’s called “Take a Moment” and Alex was inspired to write it when she was battling with her own illness.’

A loud supportive cheer bursts from the crowd as bubbling nerves erupt in my stomach. What’s Sammy doing? We haven’t even rehearsed it, other than that one night when we sang together in the bar after my first gig – but that doesn’t count. Does he even remember how it goes?

‘Alex, you’re up.’ Sammy gives me a little wink as he leaves the mic.

‘You sneaky shit,’ I say through gritted teeth as I pass him. ‘I’d never have agreed to this if you’d mentioned it earlier.’

‘Why’d you think I didn’t mention it?’ He raises an eyebrow and resumes his lead guitarist position. ‘We’ll follow your lead. You know this well enough. You were seamless when you sang it with me before.’

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