Page 15 of Take a Moment

‘Don’t worry at all.’ I shift over to give her more room. ‘I was only in for a couple of days, and I know you’ve a lot going on with your mum.’

‘Yeah, but I should have been there. You were going through…’ She tails off as her eyes start to well up again.

‘Hey, stop it.’ I grab a tissue from the box on the coffee table. ‘How can you be there for me if you dissolve into tears every few minutes? Anyway, the two hundred-odd WhatsApp messages you sent were more than enough to show you care.’

‘Oh, Lex, I’m so sorry. You’reactuallygoing through this. And I’m falling apart. What kind of idiot friend does that make me?’

‘A great one. You’d make a rubbish nurse though.’

‘For sure.’ Sasha blows her nose. ‘I’ll try again. Are you coping OK? You don’t need to act all brave in front of me.’

‘I’m honestly OK, Sash. I mean it’s a shock, for sure. I had some moments in hospital where I felt as if my whole future had been thrown up in the air like a pack of cards. I questioned everything: my career, the wedding, me and Dom. I cried to the point that my nose was so raw it burned. And I asked the universe why this has happened to me – it didn’t answer, in case you’re wondering – but I came up with nothing productive. So, I decided I have to face it the same way I face everything else in my life. I’m going to take it head on and work through it.’

‘You’re amazing, Lex. I’m not sure why I expected anything else. Youlivelife, you don’t let it happen to you. Why would that be different now?’

‘Exactly. Either that, or it really hasn’t sunk in, and I’m days shy of throwing myself out of the living room window.’ I grin at her.

‘I can tell you’re definitely not about to do that.’ Sasha giggles.

‘Couldn’t if I tried – not in my state. One thing that is bothering me, though, is how Dom and my mother and sister are behaving. I may have questioned the wedding in my head during a moment of irrational despair, but they talked seriously about postponing it – and like I wasn’t even there.’

Sasha ponders this for a second. ‘Would that be such a bad thing?’

‘Yes.We’ve been planning it for two years. It’s still four months away and I’ll be back on my feet in weeks.’

‘So did they back down?’

I let out a long sigh. ‘They did, but now they’ve taken over the wedding planning. All I’m getting to do is plan my outfit, hair and make-up and turn up for things that I’m needed for.’

‘Oh dear.’ Sasha winces, feeling my pain. ‘Though maybe it is what’s needed for the next while, until you’re back on your feet.’

‘It won’t be that though, Sash. My mum’s already taken it upon herself to mess with the colour scheme and she and Dom have reduced the guest list because they don’t think I’ll be able to cope with so many people being there on the day. It’s like I’ve lost control of my own wedding.’

‘I get that you’re frustrated, Lex, but you’ve been through quite an ordeal. We all just want to take care of you.’

This comment sends a ripple of frustration through me. Not Sasha as well. She’s meant to take my side on everything. To avoid an argument – which Sasha would undoubtedly run a mile from – I change the subject.

‘Hey, you want to see something? I was bored in hospital so I ended up writing a song.’

‘A song?’

‘Yeah, the inspiration came from seeing so many really sick people on the ward – much worse than me – and then it kind of evolved from there. Head was foggy, so it was a bit of a struggle, but a welcome distraction.’

I hand Sasha my phone with the notepad app open. She quietly reads through my rough lyrics, then looks at me in awe.

‘It’s amazing. Comes straight from the heart. How does it go?’

I start to hum a melody and she joins in, singing the words on the screen.

We grow up unassuming, we grow up unaware

We live in a world where too many people, they don’t care

Take a look around you, tell me what you see

Illness, conflict, suffering, too much poverty…

‘It needs a bit of work.’ I stop our duet abruptly. ‘But it’s not like I don’t have time on my hands.’

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