Page 37 of Take a Moment

‘Sash?’

‘I know you don’t need me,’ she says eventually. ‘I was really worried about you before, but I’ve seen that you can look after yourself. At least, you can when your symptoms aren’t too troublesome.’

‘So, what’s going on?’

She exhales sharply. ‘I don’t know. I guess… seeing you go off and make a new life for yourself, it’s made me think about my own. I’m worried I’m going to get forty years down the road and regret never having properly lived – all because I’m too scared to take any risks.’

‘But it’s not just about risks, it’s about your mum too. You have very strong family values. You’d feel so guilty if you left her. How would she even cope?’

‘I don’t… my mum doesn’t need… oh, what’s the point in covering this up? I think she’d manage just fine, Lex.’

‘Sorry, what?’ I wonder if I’ve heard correctly. ‘Sash, what are you talking about?’

‘I caught her out.’

‘What do you mean you caught her out? You’re not making any sense.’

‘What I mean is, I was really fed up at work the other day, so I asked if I could take a half-day. On my way home, I decided to stop by my mum’s place to check on her and I caught her…’ Sasha’s voice wobbles as she trails off, sounding ashamed.

‘You caught her what?’

The silence resumes once again.

‘Sasha? Spit it out.’

‘I caught her having sex with a man.’

‘WHAT?’ I’m so shocked, I sit bolt upright on my bed. ‘Wait, how? No, sorry that’s a stupid question. I thought she was way too ill for that. She has to walk with a frame. She can hardly breathe. And… I mean, does she even have a bloke?’

‘These were all questions I asked myself, believe me.’ Sasha now sounds quite miserable.

‘Well, what did she say when you caught her?’

‘Nothing. She doesn’t know. She was… in the moment.’

‘Eww!’ I wail. ‘That’s so gross.’

‘It is. I can’t get the image out of my head. She wasn’t the mum I’ve known these recent years. She was so… energetic.’

‘Stop it, please. I can’t take any more.’ I start to laugh and then clamp my hand over my mouth as I realise this is no joke to Sasha. ‘So, are you going to have it out with her?’

‘I am,’ she says quietly. ‘At least, I want to. But I’m really crap at these things, as you well know. I wanted to get my facts straight, so when she was having a bath one evening, I went through her cupboards and found her medical letters.’

‘And?’

‘And the night she went into hospital with a heart attack, it turns out it was just a panic attack.’

‘Huh? Why would she tell you she had a heart—’

‘Hang on, there’s more.’ Sasha uncharacteristically silences me. ‘There’s absolutely nothing relating to a long-term heart condition in any of her paperwork either. Her official diagnosis is ME.’

‘ME? But that’s a serious condition as well.’ I’m back to rubbing my forehead exhaustedly, but this time from trying to follow the complexity and complete absurdity of this story. ‘Why would she lie to you about that?’

‘I wondered that myself. And then I figured it out. It’s because she’s faking it. ME can be faked because it’s so difficult to confirm it. But my mum obviously thought it would sound more convincing if she told me she had a heart condition – and it’s not like I could go and ask the doctors, due to the whole patient confidentiality thing. Lex, I think my mum’s a benefits cheat.’

My jaw drops as I put it all together. She’s right. What else could it all mean?

‘Shit, Sash. I’m so sorry. All these years and she’s been at it the whole time. You’re going to face up to her about it, right?’

---