Page 98 of Take a Moment

To take my mind off my broken heart, I decide to update Emmanuel on my situation. I send her a text instead of calling, just in case she’s in the middle of something. She replies quickly.

Sorry, in a meeting but that’s great news. See you in a few hours. E

With that done and nothing else to focus on, I close my eyes once again in the hope that sleep will come and rescue me.

Chapter 33

A couple of hours later, I’m wakened by a bustle of activity, signalling the start of visiting hours. Feeling groggy and not yet switched on, I don’t see the person approaching until they’re standing right at the foot of my bed. I look up and gasp.

‘Matt?’

‘Hey there,’ he replies softly.

‘What are you… how did you…?’

I instinctively swipe at my mouth to make sure I haven’t drooled in my sleep, then try to sit up. But I do it too quickly and immediately receive a stark warning from the lead weight that is my body.

‘Don’t try to get up. I’ll come to you.’ Matt moves round the bed and takes a seat beside me.

It’s so good to see his face, but I’m totally confused as to what’s happening.

‘How did you know I was here?’

‘I went to your apartment after work because I couldn’t get my head around why you called things off like that. No real explanation – and by text message. I wanted to hear it face to face but then your boss answered. She told me you were here.’

I swallow nervously. ‘Did she tell youwhyI’m here?’

‘No.She said that was for you to share. But she did say there was something I needed to hear. Alex, what’s going on? Why are you in a neurology ward?’

I blink through stinging, glassy eyes. ‘Because… oh, this is so hard…’ I take a deep breath and bite the bullet. ‘I have MS, Matt. I woke up yesterday really unwell and I thought it was a relapse, but it’s a viral infection that’s caused my symptoms to flare up.’

‘Right. Shit.’ Matt hangs his head, taking this in. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I wanted to. Actually, that’s not true. Ididn’twant to. At first, when we were casually dating, it felt too soon to mention it. We barely knew each other. But when things got more serious between us, I knew I had left it too long. I nearly brought it up when I told you about Dom at the weekend.’

‘You said then you had a couple of things you needed to talk to me about. But you only mentioned him.’

‘I knew it would change things, probably end our relationship, so I bottled it.’

Matt lifts his gaze to meet mine and my stomach squirms nervously in response. It’s almost unbearable. I can’t take his pity, his expression of sympathy as he makes his excuses.

‘You thought I’d walk away.’

I wring my hands anxiously. ‘Yes. But I wouldn’t blame you. Who would want to sign up for a lifetime with someone this broken? With all the complications and limitations that it brings. Who wants to commit to that?’

‘MaybeIdo. You never gave me the chance to decide.’

‘Matt, please. Don’t do that. You know as well as I do how unlikely that is.’

‘Why is it so unlikely, Alex? Because that’s how things go in your head? People weigh up the logic and arrive at the obvious solution. Is that how you make your own decisions?’

‘I…’ I look away, unable to respond.

‘In deciding how I was going to react, you missed a few important factors. Like the fact that you’re different to any woman I’ve ever met – in such a good way. You’re beautiful, inside and out. As clichéd as that sounds, it’s true. And I’ve already fallen totally and completely in love with you.’

My heart starts to pound in my chest as I look back towards him and meet his eye. ‘What did you just say?’

‘I love you. I know it’s fast, but it’s true. So, if you want to call things off because you think you’re going to be a burden on me, or some nonsense like that, feel free. But know that it will be on you. I’m not walking away.’

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