Page 15 of Just Like That

‘What?’

‘It’s a her.’ He points to the red panda. ‘That one’s a female.’

‘Right. Whatever.’ I fold my arms and stare ahead, hoping he’ll take the hint and go away.

‘Are you always like this?’ Nick’s tone is as cutting as it was earlier. ‘All I’m doing is telling you the sex of the animal and it’s like I’ve mortally offended you.’

‘No.I’m just not into small talk with men who hit on vulnerable women at hospitals, or treat them like shit when they turn up at their work.’

‘Taking the moral high ground, that’s predictable. You were acidic at the hospital when I was only being polite, and you had no choice but to play ball in that room earlier, because your job depends on it. I’m more than aware of what you really wanted to say to me.’

‘Yeah, well, that makes two of us,’ I spit back without looking round. ‘Your boss shut you up before you could air what was really on your mind.’

‘Right, well, I’d like to say it’s been a pleasure, but it’s been the opposite. I only came to find you to give you some overalls to change into and ask you to meet me at the elephant enclosure at one p.m. so I can follow through on my orders.’ He dumps a bag of clothing down beside me.

I turn and give Nick a scathing look. ‘Not so keen once you realise you’ve met your match, are you?’

‘Pardon?’ He screws up his face in confusion.

‘You heard me. You’re just another one of those guys who preys on weak women, because you can’t handle one who’s got it worked out.’

Nick stands there for a moment and it appears I’ve left him speechless. He turns and starts to walk away, then stops and faces me once more.

‘One: if you had it “worked out”, you wouldn’t need to speak to me like that. And two: sorry, but you’re just not my type.’

He strides off, leaving me standing there open-mouthed and utterly astonished as the now forgotten red panda continues to watch on in the background.

Following my altercation with Nick, I consider calling Craig and telling him I’m sick and I need to go home. Never have I done this, never have I even thought about doing it, but the thought of spending the next couple of days in Nick’s company is about as unappealing as a baboon’s arse (I visited their enclosure earlier and, my goodness, that is one hell of a rear end). But tempting as it is to do a bunk, especially when I’m already dealing with enough in my personal life, I’m aware it will make my work situation worse and Craig will lose even more faith in my ability to keep on top of things.

Instead, I spend my lunch break in the park’s main restaurant looking up online articles with titles such as ‘How to deal with difficult people’ and ‘So your co-worker’s an arsehole’. Nick may have mocked me for taking the moral high ground, but I know that’s exactly what I need to do: rise above this nonsense and yank on my ‘professional hat’ so hard it’s stuck fast. Irate, reactive Jess can’t be allowed to resurface or I’m going to end up in deep shit.

Once I’ve eaten my surprisingly tasty lunch of chicken enchiladas, which was on the house thanks to Gwen, I get changed into the overalls I’ve been given in the toilets. Then I exit the bright, airy canteen-style restaurant into the huge open outdoor seating area, which is half-covered to cater for those well-known Scottish rainy days. Consulting my map, I identify the direction I need to head in to find the elephants and Nick. I’m a little early so I amble along the path leisurely, enjoying the sights of the animals I missed by cutting my tour short after my run-in with him. On my way, I pass some larger enclosures, which are more like fields. They’re home to grazing animals such as zebras, gazelles, impalas and giraffes, some of which are sharing the same space quite harmoniously.

I stop and admire the giraffes for some time, these having always been favourites of mine. It’s the combination of their majestic height, their curious features and the gentleness of their demeanour that gets me every time. The elders of the group stand regally, watching on as the younger giraffes cavort around in play. It’s so mesmerising and calming, by the time I move on to meet my Nick-shaped fate, I’m in a far better mood.

Arriving at the elephant enclosure, I don’t find Nick at first, nor do I see any elephants. However, there appears to be an indoor area connected to the outdoor enclosure, so I walk inside and the first thing I notice is the smell.

‘Oh man, that’s awful.’ I cough and pinch my nose with my fingers, then focus my attention on the three elephants in front of me who are feeding on hay or grass or something from rope nets hanging from a height. ‘You lot are truly charming, but gosh do you produce some smell.’

‘So would you if you had to shit where you sleep.’

Ah, Nick, you know just how to wind me up.I turn and see him skulking behind me once again.

‘Do you make a habit of sneaking up on people?’ I ask.

‘Not really.’ He shrugs. ‘Do you make a habit of talking to things that can’t talk back to you?’

I inwardly curse at him and force a smile to trick my brain into thinking I’m fine.

‘I like to think they can understand me.’

‘Well, they can’t.’

I purse my lips. ‘How do you know? Have you ever been an elephant?’

‘No, but I do have an understanding of science.’

I feel my hackles rise again and realise that we’re already off down the same slippery slope I’ve only just climbed back up. This can’t happen again. OK, what did I just read in those articles… deep breaths, count to ten, imagine him naked. No, wait, that’s for when I’m nervous about something. Though I bet he doesn’t look half bad naked. Dammit, this is not working.

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