Page 19 of Just Like That

‘Hey, Seth. How’s your day been?’ I greet my brother, who’s glued to a reality TV series when I arrive home.

He barely acknowledges my arrival, so I see his new carer, Jackson, to the door.

‘How’s he been?’ I ask. ‘I was concerned about leaving him all day.’

‘He’s been in good form,’ Jackson nods in acknowledgement of his own statement, his hazel eyes emitting a warmth that runs right through his character. ‘Though I had to divert his attention once or twice when he asked if we could go out for a pint. Think we’ll get on just fine.’

‘That is so Seth.’ I chuckle.

I know from the open and friendly conversation we had during his interview that Jackson is widowed with two ‘adult children’, as he put it: two daughters who are apparently close in age to Seth and I. He’s in his mid-fifties, but he has the looks and energy of someone much younger. Not a grey hair in sight either. This I’m impressed by, given it sounds like he’s had a lot to deal with in his life, and I’m already exhausted from just a few days of caring for my brother.

‘If he’s already inviting you out for a pint, it means he likes you,’ I add. ‘Sees you as one of his bros.’

‘I got that. He’s quite the character. Maybe one day we’ll actually do that – even if it’s alcohol free. I’m sure it would help him feel like he’s living more of a “normal” life, but not until he’s come on a bit further.’

‘Well, I’m glad to hear that it looks like it will work out between the two of you. Thanks for everything, and see you tomorrow.’

I close the door behind Jackson and return to the living room for a second attempt at gaining my brother’s attention.

‘What do you fancy for dinner?’ I ask him. ‘You have the choice of spaghetti bolognese or chicken stroganoff.’

Seth continues to stare at the TV, mesmerised by the goings-on.

‘Earth to Seth…’ I wave in his line of vision.

‘Huh…?’ He finally snaps out of his semi-hypnosis and uses his working arm to fumble with the remote and pause the show he’s watching. ‘Oh… hi… sis.’

‘Hi, nice to see you, Jess. How was your day?’ I rib him sarcastically. ‘I see nothing’s changed with your TV habits anyway. You still have the full and rather irritating ability to completely block everyone out.’

‘Aww… sis. I’ve… lost… so… much. Please… don’t… try… to… take… that… from… me… too.’

‘All right, cheeky.’ I shake my head at him as he laughs at his own joke. ‘Dinner. What’s it to be?’

‘Um… sp… spagh-ett-i.’

‘So you did hear me after all?’

‘No.I… was… bored… and… I… checked… what… was… in… the… fridge. Dinner… is… the… high… high-light… of… my… day… you… know.’

‘I know.’ I turn my face away to hide the pained smile that instinctively forms on it.

Seth is doing fine. Of course he is. He’s Seth. He can cope with pretty much anything without it getting to him too much. But it pains me to see my strapping big brother more or less a prisoner in his own home – and his own body. His friendship group have been great. They visited him many times in hospital and a couple of them have already been round to my flat to see him, but the fact that he can’t join them and has to spend three days a week hanging out with a carer kills me a little bit.

‘What’s… up?’ Seth is looking at me curiously.

‘With me? Nothing. Tough day is all. I’ll leave you to your programme. Dinner will be in half an hour.’

Once I’ve prepared our food, I keep mine in the oven while I help Seth eat his. It’s a slow process with his motor skills still being quite uncoordinated and the swallowing issues he’s been left with. It also doesn’t help that he seems more interested in hearing about my day now that his attention is away from the television.

‘The… wil… wild-life… park… sounds… fun. Why… was… it… a… tough… day?’

I hesitate, cursing myself for sharing that. Seth knows nothing of my troubles at work and I’m determined to keep it that way. Much as he’s laid-back about his own life, he would be upset to think that mine has been limited because of him. He’d insist on me going back to work full time and him having a carer five days a week and I simply couldn’t allow that to happen.

‘Oh, it was just something that happened there. Not important at all.’

‘Tell… me.’

‘Honestly, Seth. It’s not that interesting.’

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