Page 40 of Just Like That

Lauren overhears this and makes her way across to us.

‘Is there a problem with your dater card, Nick?’

‘Eh, not sure.’ He scrutinises it as if the words might suddenly change in front of his eyes. ‘It’s matched me and Jess. That can’t be right.’

Lauren consults her tablet. ‘No, that’s spot on. The two of you scored eighty-nine per cent on the compatibility matrix. Second best score here tonight.’

I feel my cheeks flame, while Nick shifts in his seat.

‘Well, you know,’ I stammer. ‘I said I wasn’t paying much attention when I filled it out.’

‘Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.’ Lauren gives me suggestive wink, causing my flush to deepen, then she trots off to help one of the other daters.

‘Well, there you go.’ Nick clears his throat awkwardly, his cheeks reddening in a way I haven’t seen before, and it’s obvious he’s feeling as uncomfortable about this as I am. ‘I guess we’re going on a date.’

‘Yup. I guess we are.’ I chew on my lip while staring straight ahead, willing my beetroot face to cool down and stop giving me away.

Chapter 18

Shortly after the revelation that Nick and I are going on a date, Lauren sends us on our first pairings, which for me is a guy from Lauren’s course called David. Like most of the men in the group – and contrary to Lauren’s comments about their age – he appears to be at least four to five years younger than me, but he seems nice, if a bit wound up by the whole experience.

Our mini-date is activity based: we’re going round the park’s tree-top walk. The idea is that you get a better view of the animals living in the bigger safari-style enclosures and it does actually deliver on that promise. We’ve also been told that part of our activity together will be to take a zip line back down to the ground at the end of the walkway. This seems to have added to poor David’s elevated cortisol levels, and I can only guess that he’s not keen on heights or ‘extreme sports’ that involve heights.

‘So where are you originally from?’ I ask him in a bid to distract him.

His knuckles are white from clutching the handrail so tightly.

‘Norwich,’ he replies through a clenched jaw.

‘Oh, Norwich is a lovely city. I visited it several years back. It’s quite a trek from there to Edinburgh though. What brought you up here, rather than going to London, for example?’

‘Um… well, the university has a great reputation, so… that was why I initially came here – for my undergrad.’

He pauses and peers over the edge of the wooden walkway at a small herd of animals similar to antelopes. This action seems to unbalance him and he flinches and pulls back sharply. I wince in a gesture of sympathy. This seems to be the worst possible activity for David and it’s certainly not going to encourage him to recommend the dating events. I make a mental note to speak to Lauren about the sign-up form, so we don’t traumatise any more of our customers with our activities.

‘So you stayed on in Edinburgh once you graduated?’ I prompt him, while coaxing him along so I can end his terror as soon as possible.

‘Yes. I got a graduate job locally and my work are sponsoring me to do my Masters part-time.’ He shuffles along the walkway while talking, and I subtly up the pace to keep him from stalling.

‘That’s great that you can do it that way. Means you can earn and gain your qualifications at the same time.’

I keep David talking all the way to the zip wire – which is even higher up and a good few hundred metres long – and when we reach the staff member who’s ready to receive us, I quietly let them know that perhaps David should take the stairs back down. However, on hearing this, David objects and insists that he ‘can do this’.

Unable to persuade him otherwise, the park team member simply shrugs, then hooks David up to the safety gear, and gets him ready to go. What follows is a truly painful experience, watching him grapple with himself and slam his feet down in a sudden braking motion every time he attempts to take off. But after what I count to be the forty-eighth try, he finally takes off. This appears to be due to him slipping rather than making the conscious decision to go, and I’m pretty sure the whole park can hear his screams as he zips down the line.

What’s completely baffling is that when I join him at the bottom, he’s looking much more casual, almost to the point of being smug.

‘That was insane!’ he declares. ‘What an experience. I’ve really enjoyed your company, Jess, and I’d love to see you again.’

As he strides off ahead of me, chest puffed out, shoulders square, I have to try veryveryhard to suppress the fit of giggles that almost overwhelms me.

My second date, which is with a guy called Dae-Jung, is quite uneventful compared to my first, but only because anything would feel calm and composed in comparison to my experience with David. I do find myself thinking though that whoever ends up with Dae-Jung in the long term will be one very lucky woman. He’s super polite, scarily intelligent and funny in an understated way. He’s also very easy on the eye. If I were a few years younger is all I’ll say – at the risk of sounding like a middle-aged lech.

After I’ve said a polite goodbye to Dae-Jung, who seems very happy to wave me on (I won’t think too much about that one), I find myself having a mocktail at a patio table for two – with Nick. We’re sat overlooking the flamingo enclosure on one side and a solitary giant tortoise on the other.

‘So, this is weird.’ I twiddle the stem of my martini glass.

‘That’s one word for it.’ Nick looks so ill at ease he can barely make eye contact with me.

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