Page 66 of Just Like That

‘Eh, no way. Out with it, you sneaky swordfish.’

I sigh with resignation. ‘All right. I’m keeping that side of things out of our relationship for now, because once we start having sex, he’ll expect us to stay over at each other’s places.’

‘And?’ Amelia looks understandably confused.

‘And I can’t have him stay over at mine, because he doesn’t know about the situation with Seth.’

‘WHAT??’

‘I know, I know.’ I quickly explain what Nick said on our first date and how I’m hoping Seth will recover enough to allow me a more straightforward relationship with Nick – so we actually have a chance at a future together.

‘Jess, I love you like a pixie sister, but this is atomic insanity. That incredible man has been through the ringer with his ex-wife because she was a lying, cheating scumbitch, and you’re—’

‘It’s not the same,’ I protest. ‘I’m not lying. I just haven’t shown him all of me, and for good reason. He was clear that night about what he wants – nothing “complicated” and “no baggage”. Plus, he deserves to have someone who’s totally devoted to him. I can’t offer him that right now. But I’m really hoping to be able to, and I want to paint it as a real possibility when the time is right. Seth’s improving every day.’

Amelia closes her eyes for a second while she digests this, then opens them again. ‘Yeah, well, I hope you’ve got your cards laid out right. I also hope you’re not gambling on Seth making a near full recovery, because you know that’s not guaranteed.’

‘I do and I’m not, OK? Now let’s move on.’

I quickly change the subject and Amelia briefly gives me some tips on how to maximise our online visibility the next day while the event is happening. On her advice, we’ve also set up a page on a fundraising platform called FundedCauses to boost our income and increase our reach.

Once I’ve said goodnight to her, I make my way outside and find Nick sitting on a bench, messing about on his phone.

‘Sorry about that.’ I ruffle his hair affectionately. ‘Amelia is a bit… alternative. She takes a bit of getting used to.’

‘Will I have the opportunity to get used to her?’ Nick looks up at me with a searching expression.

‘Wh… what do you mean by that?’ I’m caught off guard by this question, which is a departure from the light and easy-going interactions we’ve been enjoying since getting together.

‘I mean…’ He puffs out his cheeks contemplatively. ‘I guess I’m wondering where this is going, Jess. I really like you, but since our date, we’ve only seen each here at the park. As much as I enjoy that side of things, I was hoping for a bit more than that.’

My immediate reaction is one of panic, having not picked up on any sign of Nick’s unease with our situation. I knew we couldn’t continue as we were indefinitely, but I had hoped I could keep things ticking along a little longer.

‘I’m sorry, Nick, I didn’t know you were feeling that way. It’s been a crazy time though, we’ve been surviving on caffeine and adrenaline. It’s not really been the right point to throw dating into the mix.’

‘But that ends tomorrow, right? Regardless of the outcome. So will things change then?’

It takes all of three seconds for it to dawn on me that Amelia was right. This situation is unsustainable, and my answer to his question will shape everything that happens between us going forward.

‘Yes.’ I give a resolute nod, then lean over and kiss him firmly on the lips to show I mean it. ‘I’m still at the hotel tomorrow night – thought it would be unwise to check out on the day of the event – so why don’t you join me for “dinner, bed and breakfast”?’

Nick’s face immediately brightens. ‘I would love that.’

‘Then it’s a date.’

Pulling him to his feet, he slips his fingers through mine and we walk to our cars together.

‘You know, I was starting to wonder if maybe you weren’t in the same place as me,’ he says.

‘Really?’ I feel saddened to hear this. ‘Why would you think that?’

‘Maybe because you seemed happy to keep things casual. But I can see now that I was wrong. It was just the work stuff.’ Nick stops and fixes his gaze on mine. ‘Jess, I really want this to go somewhere. You’re so amazing and beautiful and… uncomplicated. I hope that from now on, whatever happens with the park, that we can spend a lot more time together.’

Gazing back at him, I hear myself say: ‘Me too.’ Then I spend the rest of the walk to my car wondering how on earth I can possibly follow through on that assertion, and feeling a bit sick that one of the three things Nick said he likes about me is that I’m ‘uncomplicated’.

Chapter 30

The next morning, my phone alarm wakes me at 5:30 a.m. and within an hour I’m coasting along the country roads to the wildlife park trying not to think about that word Nick used the evening before. Pulling into the car park, I see that Nick is already there with Hakeem, the head groundskeeper, and Gwen. They’re hanging one of the new signs Amelia told us we needed after I gave her a tour of the park by video link. It was the one financial investment we agreed to make for the event, because, according to her, ‘first impressions will make you soar or splat’. And we most certainly did not want to splat.

---