Page 64 of Another Lucky Number

My mouth gapes in disbelief that, not only has Rob played right into Amber’s hands, the others look fully engaged with the conversation.

‘Gold star for you, Rob.’ Amber beams at him. ‘That’s spot on.’

Rob looks elated that he’s now top of the non-existent class,while the others seem impressed with his knowledge. I let out an exasperated sigh, but no one even seems to notice.

‘There you go, Emma.’ Amber gives me an infuriating wink. ‘Keep that definition in your mind while I explain the approach I took with this experiment.’

‘I’m glad you refer to it as an “experiment”,’ I mutter. ‘Because I certainly feel like your bloody guinea pig.’

James takes my hand under the table and squeezes it in what I interpret as a message of ‘hang in there, there will be something good that comes from this’. I want to believe him and I want to improve. I just don’t want to have to endure the inevitable humiliation that’ll go with it.

‘Anyway…’ Amber ignores me and continues to address us as a group. ‘I set up the task as per that exact definition, which gave me four areas of Emma’s personal development to focus on. I then scored her on how she performed in each. Let’s see how she did.’

To my horror, Amber pulls Cat’s iPad out of her handbag and brings up a video still of me, nostrils flaring, looking like a raging bull.

‘You filmed me?’

‘It’s the most effective way. Allows you to see where you’re going wrong. And believe me, once you see some of this stuff, you’ll want to work on your problem areas.’

‘What the shitting hell, Amber?You’veseriouslyoverstepped. That stuff had better not appear online.’

Her face spreads into an impish grin. ‘You sure? If we started a YouTube channel, we might get another holiday out of it. It’s comedy gold.’

‘I’m… I can’t even…I have no words,’ I splutter, covering my face with my hands and wishing I could disappear from what’s about to become my worst nightmare: watching myself behave like a complete plank, alongside an audience that includes the man I’m dating and his best pals.

Chapter Twenty-Six

‘Amber,no way.’ My tone is desperate. ‘You’re not playing this in front of everyone.’

‘It’s better if everyone sees it,’ she says. ‘Means you can get more than one perspective. Kind of like three-sixty feedback.’

‘Have you completely lost it?I asked you to help me prepare for this interview, not to become some crazed life coach.’

‘Amber, you can’t do that.’ Cat looks equally alarmed on my behalf. ‘Give Emma the iPad and let her watch it alone. We agreed we would put her out of her comfort zone to some extent, but this is taking the mick.’

Amber looks around for someone to back her, but James and his friends, quite wisely, are staying out of this one.

‘Fine,’ she grumbles and passes across the iPad. ‘Be a baby. I’d be totally fine with it.’

‘Good for you.’ I shoot her a scathing look. ‘You’re also happy to throw yourself around a karaoke stage like a lunatic. We have different standards.’

‘Now that I’d like to see.’ James grins.

‘Don’t encourage her.’

I take the iPad from Amber, wander out of the restaurantonto the nearby grass and hit play. The three-minute video, which is basically a montage of all the key events of my crappy afternoon, unfolds in front of me while I die a little inside.Thank god this wasn’t played in front of the others.It’s like one of those highly exaggerated ‘how not to do things’ training videos. I watch with dismay as one scene melts into the next: my reaction to being soaked by the water guns (each time it happened); my inability to stand my ground politely with the woman who stole my lounger; me taking off across the poolside in furious hot pursuit of the kids; and my reaction when Amber told me about us being moved to another resort.

How did I not notice she was filming that – or any of it? The only slight saving grace is the footage of me consoling poor Fiona, who I’m sure would be equally mortified if she knew she’d become an unsuspecting on-screen ‘reality star’.

Once the video has finished, I sit for a few moments to gather myself, and as I do, I land in a place I really don’t want to be. As much as I could murder Amber for this stunt, I can already see exactly why it’s a useful exercise, and how it’s going to help me not just with this interview, but with how I handle stuff in life generally. And that’s before we’ve chatted any of this through.

I return to the table and hand the iPad back to her without saying a word.

‘You OK?’ says James, grasping my hand under the table once again.

‘Yeah, fine,’ I reply. ‘Thank you.’

‘So?’ Amber fixes her gaze on me and our audience of four follows suit.

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