Page 21 of Trophy
They were both smiling as they went back outside and started working on the big bed behind the house. It was even hotter out now, and it was slow going, taking them more than an hour to get it weeded. Both of them were drenched in sweat and smeared with dirt when Rob finally pulled off his gloves.
Allison was taking hers off too. She was kneeling in the dirt, staring at the cleared, neat bed and the large pile of weeds they’d made. She had the strangest expression on her face.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Nothing.” She tried to use the back of her forearm to wipe the perspiration off her face, but it only served to smear more dirt. “I just can’t believe I actually did this. I mean, I know you helped a lot—which I appreciate—but I still did a lot of it.”
He adjusted his position so he was closer to her. “Of course you did. And why shouldn’t you have been able to do this?”
She met his eyes. “I don’t know. I’ve just lived most of my life thinking I couldn’t do things.”
“What things?”
“All kinds of things.” She let out a sigh that sounded sad and resigned. “All I’ve ever been since I grew up is a trophy wife.”
“Don’t call yourself that.”
“Why not? It’s exactly what I was. A pretty accessory that made him feel better about himself, instead of someone who could really…”
“Who could what?”
“Who could be someone for herself. Who could stand on her own.” She gave her head a little shake and met his eyes again. “It probably doesn’t make much sense to you. I’d guess you’ve never felt dependent in your life.”
Rob felt the strangest flicker in his chest. “N-no. I guess not.”
She must have heard his hesitation. “Have you?”
“Not in the way you mean, but there are other ways to feel… like you’re not in control of your own life.”
He’d been caught up in the conversation, in trying to understand Allison, and he couldn’t believe he’d actually said that out loud.
He’d felt out of control far too often in his life. In his first marriage, as she’d done nothing but lie and deceive him. Andin his second, as she’d constantly manipulated him with her neediness. The memories were painful and humiliating. He was determined not to let himself feel that way again, and he was definitely not going to talk about it with Allison.
Her eyes were wide. “You’ve felt that way too?”
He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, so he just nodded.
“When have you felt that way?”
“I… don’t know.” She looked disappointed at his evasive reply, so he heard himself continue, “But I know you’re not the only one who has let another person turn you into someone you don’t want to be.”
“But you seem so strong and… and in control.”
Rob relaxed, feeling a lot better at her words. “Uh, thanks, but I haven’t always felt this way.”
“What did you do to feel in control again?” She seemed to really want to know, really want him to help her.
There was nothing he could tell her but the truth. “You just make a decision to stay the person you’ve always been, the person you really are.”
She dropped her eyes and let out a long breath. “I’m not sure I even know how to do that.” She sounded defeated.
He couldn’t stand for her to feel that way—not when she was obviously so brave and so resilient. He reached out to tilt her face up so she was meeting his eyes again. “Yes, you do. Look at what you’ve already done—in just one week. I don’t think you have any idea how much you can do.”
Her expression melted. It was the only way to describe it. She looked grateful and warm and tender, and Rob couldn’t resist it.
He leaned forward, tilting his head down until he could meet her lips with his.
He wasn’t sure how she would respond, so he was prepared to pull back immediately. But she gave a little hitch of breath and one of her hands moved up to his shoulder. His body startingto throb with excitement, he deepened the kiss, leaning into it, letting his tongue tease the line of her lips.
