Page 55 of Trophy
Damn it. She was pulling back. She was still standing close to him on her driveway, but he could feel her retreating internally. It was like she was further away than she’d been just a moment before. “I’m sorry about all that before,” he said quickly. “She’s not normally such a pain. We shouldn’t have had to run away. I just thought it would be easier…”
“It’s no problem, Rob. I just want you to be able to talk about it with me, if you want.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” He tried for a seductive smile. “I’m doing just fine. Now, if there’s something else you want to do besides talk…”
She usually responded to that particular look and tone, but she just gave him an almost bittersweet smile. “I’m actually a little tired tonight.”
Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!Things had been going so well, and now they weren’t. “We don’t have to have sex. If you just want to hang out, I’d be up for that.”
She hesitated but then shook her head. “I think I’m just going to take an early night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” She stretched up to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. “Good night, Rob. Thanks for taking me.”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her full on the mouth, making sure not to use any tongue or make it too deep, since she’d already said she wanted to part ways for the night. “Thanks for coming. I’m sorry it got messed up at the end.”
“It didn’t get messed up. It’s not about that at all.” Her big eyes as they gazed up at him were still slightly wistful, poignant.
He wanted to ask her what it was about, but she was already walking away. He watched her until she’d unlocked her door and then closed it behind her.
He wanted her desperately.
After his bleak reflections about Dee, he needed her desperately too. Even more than sex, he wanted to hold her in his arms and take comfort in her tonight. But he couldn’t burden her with the weight of all that mess. He wasn’t going to feel like someone else was controlling his life, turning him into someone he didn’t want to be.
Not again.
Tomorrow he would have to start making up ground.
But tonight he was going to sit on his couch with a six-pack and stare at the TV, trying not to think about what he didn’t have.
19
When she got backinto her house, Allison felt like crying. She wasn’t even sure why.
She’d wanted Rob to open up to her and lean on her a little. He was always the strong shoulder for her to lean on, and she wanted to be that occasionally herself. She knew rationally that she hadn’t even agreed to date him publicly yet. She hadn’t even committed to a real dating relationship, so she had no grounds to be disappointed that he was still holding back in a significant way.
She still did, though.
Seeing him open up would help to assure her that she wasn’t being the clingy, dependent person she didn’t want to be. Maybe then she’d feel safe enough to take another step.
She went into her bedroom to change clothes, and after she had, she idly lifted the lid of the box in which she kept all of Rob’s napkin notes. On top was the one from today. At the bottom was the first one he’d written her.
She started to read through them, being careful to keep them in order. Instead of making her smile, as they normally did, they caused the knot in her chest to keep deepening.
It was clear from these notes that Rob liked how she looked. A lot.
It was also clear he liked to have sex with her.
While the early ones seemed to indicate he appreciated more about her, the later ones were almost all focused on her appearance and sex.
Maybe that was all he wanted from her. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to open up and be authentic.
She stared blindly at one of the notes from last week.I’ve never seen any other girl as beautiful as you. R.She’d thought it was so sweet when he gave it to her, but now it made her feel kind of sick.
That was what Arthur had said to her when they first started dating. Not the same words, but the same sentiment.
She shook the thought away, knowing it was irrational. Rob wanted her for a lot more than her looks. Being with Rob was different from being with Arthur. Any hesitation she sensed from him was probably her own fault, for not being able to jump in with both feet. She was overreacting. She wasn’t going to get hung up on this and get depressed about nothing.
She returned the notes to the box and closed it firmly.
She was just about to go to bed when there was a knock on her door. Blinking, she went to look through the peephole. No one should be at her door at this time of night.
