Page 59 of Trophy
“I don’t even know what that means.” His mother shook her head at him. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?”
“Y-yes.” That seemed harmless enough to admit, and it happened to be true.
“So you’re courting her?”
Rob gulped. “I’m not courting her! We’re just starting to date. She had a messy divorce, so she wants to take things slow.”
“That’s all well and good and completely understandable, but what about you? You’re treating her right, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am.” He had no idea what had prompted this interrogation, but he was a little offended by the question. All of his life he’d tried to do right by women, and he wanted to do so even more with Allison. “What did you think?”
“Oh, Rob, dear,” his mother murmured, “of course we know you’d never hurt a woman intentionally. I just meant you’re not just stringing her along because you’re worried about doing this all the way.”
“I’m not stringing her along!” He paused and leveled his voice. No reason to be defensive about it. “We’ve been up front about our relationship the whole time. Things are going fine. She’s the one who still wants to hold back.”
He looked from his mother’s face to his father’s, and for some reason it felt like they were seeing more than they should, as if they knew something about him that he didn’t even know himself. “Why do you think I’m going into this just to mess it up?” he demanded, not angrily but because he really wanted to know.
“You wouldn’t do so intentionally, dear,” his mother replied quietly. “You’ve always been the most generous man with the kindest heart. But you don’t always want others to see you for real, so we just wanted to make sure you’re really showing heryou.”
Rob stared at them, confused and rattled and strangely anxious. “I am. I . . . think I am.”
“You’re not just showing her the presentable parts?”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t want her to see the other parts,” he muttered, suddenly knowing exactly what his mother was talking about.
“She might like you if you only ever show her clean hands, but she’ll never be able to love you unless you show her everything.”
Rob had no idea what to say, but he was deeply uncomfortable and wished he’d never gotten into this conversation. He and his folks didn’t talk this way. It made him feel foolish and vulnerable and way too young. He stared downat his empty plate and tried to figure out a way to end this conversation without hurting his mother’s feelings.
But she was already continuing, “You know, I’ve thought about what happened with you and Maria a lot.”
Rob’s head shot up. “You’re not saying that was my fault?”
“No, no, of course not. I’ve just thought a lot about how it’s not surprising you never want to feel that way again—like everyone can see through you, all your mistakes and weaknesses and humanness. I completely understand why you keep trying to avoid it, but that’s not what love is about. Now, Robert, I can see you love her.”
Rob opened his mouth to object, but his father muttered, “Don’t interrupt your mother.”
His mom nodded. “We can both see you love her, but it’s never going to be what you want it to be unless you give all of yourself to her. You’ve got to trust her not to hurt and humiliate you, like Marie and Dee did.”
Rob was breathing too heavily, despite his attempts to control it. He felt too hot and adjusted the neck of his T-shirt in the hopes that he could breathe better. “I appreciate you trying to help. I really do. But she’s the one who’s holding back. I’m trying to be patient for her.”
“And it never occurred to you to be brave and make the first move?” His mother must have seen something in his expression because she shook her head and patted his hand again. “I’m sorry, dear. I know you don’t want to be having this conversation. Just tell us you’ll think about it, and we’ll drop the subject.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good. Now go outside to finish with your father, so you can get back home at a reasonable time.”
Rob was intensely relieved to leave the stuffy house and get back to work he knew how to do, work he was comfortable with.He couldn’t help but think about what his mom had said and concluded that she’d had a point to a certain extent, but she didn’t understand his relationship with Allison. He couldn’t just dump all of his problems on her when she wasn’t even sure she was ready for the relationship. There was nothing that would make her run faster.
It wasn’t because he didn’t trust her. He genuinely couldn’t move too fast.
He remembered how she’d acted this morning and felt better again. Things were going fine. He was making progress. Better not to change anything at this point, or the whole tower of cards might come tumbling down.
When they’d finished with the outbuilding, he went back to the house to clean up and say goodbye. It was two o’clock, but that still left plenty of time to get back home make sure everything was set for tonight.
“I’ve got something for you,” his mother said as he was drying his hands with a dish towel. “Come with me to get it.”
“What is it?” he asked, curious. Sometimes she gave him food to take home and occasionally she gave him a piece of furniture or a picture, telling him to fix up his house a little more attractively.
