Page 61 of His Ruined Duchess

A subtle laugh left his friend, and Hugh glared over at him. Still, Jonah did know him exceedingly well, and they were both aware of Hugh’s penchant for being a touch dramatic when he was unhappy with something.

“Destroyed your happiness, eh? So, it is atypicalcase of woe for the reluctant Duke.”

Hugh shoved Jonah’s hand off his arm when his friend attempted to pat him once again.

“I should have the butler throw you out on your arse.” But laughter rumbled through both of them, and Hugh drained more of his whiskey, seeking the numb comfort of the drink. “Yes, all right. This is an unfortunately common issue of mine. I admit it.”

“You get in your own way quite a bit, Hugh. A fact I have pointed out to you numerous times.” Jonah grinned, cocking his head at the Duke. “What is so much worse now that there isn’t a way to correct the misstep?”

The ache behind Hugh’s ribs burned hotter. It did every time he allowed himself to think of Selina and what happened between them.

“If I tell you this, I must have your word that nothing exchanged between us will leave this room.”

Jonah’s expression sobered, and he nodded. “Of course, Hugh. I’m not looking to jeopardize your new reputation. You have my word.”

Offering a single nod, Hugh clenched his jaw, searching within himself for the words. When they came out, he could not stop the bluntness of them or the way each one fell out of his lips quicker than the last.

“I have fallen for Selina. It was not intended or wise, but it was as inescapable as the need for air. Pushing her away by demanding the marriage was supposed to spare her from the damage of being under my care. Still, it has done nothing to stop me from craving her, tasting her…”

The room was quiet as Jonah let Hugh continue. “She does something to me that I do not understand. I have tried, Jonah, truly I have tried to keep myself from her, but I fear that we are both helpless against the pull that drives us together.”

“Hugh,” Jonah began, his tone solemn and worried, “if you are infatuated with the Dowager, you must understand that it cannot be so. You are?—”

“It is not a simple infatuation, Jonah. That would be one thing. But this stretches beyond the need to claim her. Even after having gotten a taste, I am desperate for more. More conversations with her, more glances and arguments, and teases. I wish to be around her at all times, to see her as the sun breaks the horizon, and wish it a fond farewell each night with her by my side. The mere thought of seeing her marriage to that oaf makes my blood boil. I am losing my mind.”

When Hugh looked back at his friend, finding himself in the middle of pacing through his office completely unaware of it, Jonah’s eyes were wide as saucers. He was silent a moment then stood up, meeting Hugh in the center of the study, the floorboard creaking under his feet.

“You are in love with her.” Jonah was so quiet, the words a breathless whisper, and it was something else to have someone point it out to Hugh. He was aware of the strength of his feelings, but he hadn’t called them by name. There was no denying the validity of Jonah’s statement, however.

“It looks that way, doesn’t it?” Hugh shrugged one shoulder, scoffing at the utter ridiculousness of his lot in life.

Jonah gripped Hugh’s shoulders. “And how does she feel about all this?”

“I am uncertain. Though there has been reciprocated action. Selina has admitted that she finds it nearly impossible to stay away from me as well. I would like to think that she feels similarly, but we haveneverdiscussed it.”

“Hugh,” Jonah shook his head, “there is your first problem. Trust me, everything proceeds more smoothly when there is open communication between parties.”

“This isn’t a case, Jonah.” Hugh rolled his eyes, shaking his head as his friend reduced the situation with Selina to a mere miscommunication.

“Every relationship is like a case. It is give and take, back and forth, and communication is the key to ensure you both walk away from the encounter satisfied. Or in your case, remain in the arrangement satisfied.”

It was impossible not to laugh at Jonah’s dissection of the issue. He certainly had a point. It was very likely that if Selina and he had discussed their feelings, they would not have been two days away from her marrying someone else.

“Why have you not asked to marry her if you feel so strongly?”

And that was the crux of the issue. He should have. Hugh knew that anyone else in his position would have. Marrying Selina was an impossible dream, however. He was terrible for her, and he knew that down to his marrow. Even still, the words had almost slipped from his mouth when she’d asked him for another solution to her problems.

He had beensoclose.

Another heavy sigh left Hugh, and he polished off the rest of his whiskey, heading to the bottle once more to pour himself a fresh glass.

“I could not do that to her. I would tarnish her reputation and put her and her family at risk. I know the talk that surrounds me, and I will not drag Selina down into the muck alongside me.”

“You seek to protect her.” Jonah’s tone softened now, and Hugh nodded. “Your aim is to ensure her life remains well-off and to keep her safe from the reputation of your own making. You are putting her needs in front of your own.”

Hugh had not considered that much before, but it was true, so he just nodded again, his back to Jonah as he sipped more of the potent whiskey. After a moment, Hugh felt Jonah’s hand land on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“I have never seen you do that before, Hugh. It is clear that youdolove her.” Jonah reached for the bottle of whiskey, pouring more into Hugh’s glass. “You’re going to need more of this.”

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