Page 63 of His Ruined Duchess

The shiny red wax was allowed to dry, and Selina stood up from the desk, walking to the fireplace once again. It had heated quite a bit, and she didn’t believe another log was necessary. Still, as she turned around and eyed the bed, she could not bring herself to lie down. She was restless, too many thoughts and emotions tumbling through her, laundry scrubbed in the basin of her mind.

Looking outside her window, Selina tracked the winding paths in the garden beneath her room. It was late, and she would likely find herself alone in its confines. Nodding to herself once, she pulled her robe tighter around herself and fetched a blanket for good measure.

Going for a walk in the night air would suit her. Even if it didn’t actually solve any of her problems, the fresh, crisp scents and stillness would ease the tension dogging her. At least, she hoped it would.

She retrieved a pair of shoes from the closet that would not get stuck in the grass, likely damp with dew at this hour, and sat down on the edge of her bed to pull them on. Her hair was hanging loose around her shoulders, and there was the brief flicker within her to put it up properly. Still, who was she going to see roaming the gardens this late at night? It would be fine.

Standing, Selina proceeded to the door with her shawl and robe wrapped tightly about her. The garden would be there for her as her mind spun round and round. She was, after all, supposed to marry Magnus come morning, and this would be her last night as truly herself. He was a fine man, but Magnus would not understand her.

He’d always been rather odd about how much Ethel read and such. Undoubtedly, he would be the same with Selina when he realized how different she was from how she allowed the world to see her. Perhaps, Magnus would not deign to care, though. It was reasonable to assume that they would see little of each other during their marriage as well. She would be taking care of Kitty and her sisters until it was time for them to make their debut and find matches of their own. Her life would be full of responsibilities and commitments she could not escape.

This was her last night of freedom, the slim amount she had of it at least. And with that being the case, she would spend it in theonly other place outside of the study within the grand estate that she loved with all her heart—the garden.

So, Selina slipped from the estate with a familiar phrase ringing through her head.

You must do this, Selina. Your family needs you. Do not disappoint them.

Chapter Thirty-One

Jonah had left responsibly some time ago when the threat of the drink was growing. He’d wished Hugh the best of luck with the situation, still commenting that choosing to marry Selina himself remained a solution. Hugh had not believed him, of course, but the notion had infected his mind and kept him from rest.

So, Hugh had found himself in the gardens, wandering the curving paths as his mind churned over the events to come the following day. Selina would marry Magnus, and he’d been instructed to be present for it. Hugh could not imagine standing there in the chapel and watching Selina give her vows to that man. It twisted his stomach into knots.

Focus, Hugh. You must only get through one more day. Selina… Selina will be gone, and you will return to life as you knew it.

As he walked, Hugh allowed his mind to drift away, his thoughts settling on the sounds and scents around him. The night airwas crisp, a slightly moist chill that clung to the outside of his waistcoat and the strands of grass at his feet. He could pick up that particular fragrance of the water fountain not too far away from where he stood. Even more, the smell of the evergreen branches of the hedge up ahead reminded Hugh of his first kiss with Selina.

I’d discovered her innocence then.

Hugh lost himself to the memory of Selina’s lips pressed against his, the way she had so timidly swept her tongue across his, mimicking his actions. She had been so very new to it, and the knowledge that he’d claimed her first passionate kiss for himself lit him up inside.

It still did.

He’d taken so much of Selina’s time and experience, touching her in the shadowed hallway, teasing her in the study and then the theater, and of course, finally feeling her body wrapped around his as she gave him her virtue in the same room where she had first tempted him.

My Selina… except not at all.

Sighing, Hugh rounded a corner only to come to an abrupt stop when he saw her on the pathway in front of him. Was this real? Was he just hallucinating the arrival of the woman who so consumed his thoughts?

She looked up, locking eyes with him as she stopped suddenly, too.

“Hugh? I… What are you doing out here?”

“I…” He sucked in a breath. Usually, Hugh was so deliberate and purposeful about his word choice. Still, something about finding Selina out here in the garden when he’d been thinking about her made his usual composition fall to the wayside. “I could not sleep. Too many thoughts running rampant in my mind to rest.”

The shock on Selina’s face melted into a soft smile, and she stepped forward, coming to stand just in front of Hugh. As she looked up at him, his pulse fluttered in his neck, wanton fantasies running through his head. He could not fall victim to any of them, not with the wedding in the morning and Selina’s own declaration that “this” was done between them.

“I could not sleep either. Would you… Would you like to walk with me?”

He couldn’t help but grin back, nodding. They took their places next to each other, proceeding to wander through the gardens at night, the sounds of the fountain and unseen insects creating a backdrop to their stolen promenade. For several minutes, they walked in silence, neither of them willing to break the tenuous serenity that existed between them. They were both guilty of provoking the other on numerous occasions, and Hugh had to assume that Selina—just like he was—sought to avoid bickering.

The moments dragged on, the feeling of comfort associated with Selina’s presence growing stronger and stronger. Then, without a word, he reached toward her with his fingers as they walked, seeking out her hand. Selina had sensed it, her own slim digits sliding through the air. Finding her, Hugh held Selina’s hand as they walked.

Of all the intimate gestures they had exchanged, this one felt oddly profound, so much more intimate and vulnerable than any other. Selina was holding Hugh’s hand, and the furious pound of his heart was so great he could feel it in his throat.

I could stay in this moment… forever.

They made their way toward the stone bench near the water fountain, meandering over to it and taking a seat. It was an unspoken agreement to rest for a time, but Hugh still clung to Selina’s hand, internally mortified that he was desperate to keep the contact with her.

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