Page 33 of Beyond Me

His jaw clenched and his blue eyes sparked.“Exactly!Do you think I want the world believing I bought my way into galleries or school because of my money?I could make a call and get connected with something just from my family name.I don’t want anyone’s charity, goddammit.I’m notgoodenough.”

I practically spit with frustration.“Did you ever even try?”His stubborn expression told me no.“Maybe you’d find out if you submit your work to them and see?Fuck the family name.Just don’t use it—make one up and satisfy yourself it’s on your terms.You never gave it a shot, because that way you’ll be safe.But you’re not safe, James, you’re just alone.Throwing parties and wasting time and looking for something that’s already here.You’re a fucking artist!Just be one!”

He fisted his hands and stepped back.I watched the conflicting expressions war for dominance, and suddenly, all that energy hit me like a sucker punch.“It’s not that easy.”

“It’s not that hard.”

“I don’t know if I’m good!Jesus, don’t you get it?”

I got closer to his breaking point, almost scenting his rawness beneath the surface he gave me glimpses of.But I wanted more from him, dammit, I wanted everything he had, whether or not I had the right.“No, explain it to me.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I let out a strangled cry in pure frustration.“Bullshit!It does matter, it all matters, but you’re being a coward by not admitting it.Just fucking tell me what your problem is!”

He gave a vicious curse.He seemed to struggle with temper that was more directed toward himself than with me, but it swirled with a raw emotion that turned me on.This was the James I ached for—his feelings and soul as naked to me as his body.The combination screamed sexual power.“What do you want from me?”he ground out.“Why are you pushing?”

I was breathing hard, aroused, and pissed off at his stubbornness.“What do I want?Oh, that’s right.Let me make sure not to demand too much emotion here.Let’s just keep it to fucking each other’s brains out, okay?Better now?”I knew I was taunting him, but I ached to push past his barriers, and when our bodies connected, all walls came crashing down.

His control teetered, paused, and crashed.“You want to know everything?All the touchy-feely bullshit?Fine—my whole life I had one fucking thing I dreamed of: making it in the art world, on my own.But if I don’t haveit, and I fail, there’s nothing left.I shot my load and I got no backup.And won’t my fucking parents and friends laugh their asses off?You get it now?You happy?”His voice rose and crashed around me, full of naked and swirling emotions I never glimpsed before.

“Yes, I’m happy now.Now do something about it.”

He stared at me, poised on the brink, and then he closed the distance and hauled me into his arms.Blazing blue eyes locked with mine.My nipples hardened and I grew wet.

“Fuck this,” he muttered.Slamming his mouth over mine, he kissed me, his tongue thrusting into my mouth and taking what he wanted.I gave it back, pressing myself against him, digging my fingers into his hair and holding on tight.He bent me backward and swallowed me whole, until there was nothing left except what he gave me.My bare thighs scraped his belt buckle, and he ripped off his shorts, shoving down my bikini bottoms, and lowering himself to the floor.Our mouths never broke away, and I whimpered as I grew wetter, wiggling on top of him so I could get his cock deep inside me where he belonged.

He broke away and bit my earlobe.I shuddered.“Condom.Pocket.Put it on.”

I fumbled with the wrapper and rolled it on him.He gripped my hips and lifted me over him, my pussy dripping, my nipples begging for his teeth and lips and tongue.

“Ride me, baby.Ride me hard.”

I cried out his name as I sank down, taking his cock in one long surge.He buried deep inside me, and I panted for control, digging my nails into his skin as I fought for control.My hair streamed loose over his chest and he groaned, arching up so I was forced to take more.“All of me, Quinn.That’s good, so good.”

I moved in short spurts, adjusting to his length.Fire shot through my veins and heated me up everywhere.Frantic for more, I moved faster, working my hips, relaxing my muscles, and taking him completely.He controlled my movements for a while, but as I neared climax, I ripped his hands off me and rode him hard and fast and wild, not allowing him any control.He shouted my name and I felt myself coming, the pleasure squeezing me so tight I didn’t think I could take a moment more, but I kept coming more and then he followed me, my thighs gripping desperately for balance as every muscle collapsed in ecstasy.

I slumped over, breathing hard, and his hands settled on my ass.It took a while before we calmed down and I felt as if I could finally move.I managed to support myself on my hands and sit back up.He was still inside me.

“I love you,” he said.

I should’ve been shocked.I should’ve gasped, pulled away, and tried to decipher what had happened in four days.It was impossible to fall in love with someone so fast, right?I knew that.Yes, I had pushed him, but this confession was way more than I expected.We needed to talk and rationalize what we were doing, and figure out a plan.But nothing mattered anymore.Just the truth.

“I love you too.”

I lowered my head and kissed him.Sweet.Tender.My heart swelled in my chest, and I never felt more right about anything in my life.I loved James Hunt.

“Are you ready to eat?”

He’d said the words, but wasn’t ready for a long conversation and analysis of our options.Neither was I.I wanted to hold tight to the magic words, be with him, and not think of the future.So, I climbed off him and put out my hand.

James wrapped his fingers in mine and took me downstairs.Things would never be the same between us.And I was glad.

Thursday

YEAH.ITwas official.

I was whipped.

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