Page 43 of Beyond Me

My heart twisted.“You’re leaving me?”

She chewed her lower lip.“I have to.”

I almost sank to my knees to beg her to stay.I’d do anything.But then I realized it was too late.In some distant part of my brain, I also realized she was right.

I had nothing to offer.I didn’t know what I was doing.

I needed to let her go.

“I love you, Quinn.”

With my words echoing in the air, I left the hotel room.

Friday

I’D LOSThim.

I stayed in my hotel room most of the day by myself.Cassie and Mac both stopped in to babysit me for a bit, but I shooed them away, wanting to be alone.

I stayed out by the balcony, wrapped my arms around my knees, and stared at the rollicking pool scene for hours.I ordered room service, packed, and got ready for the return trip.My phone remained silent.No message from James.No more knocking on my door.

He was gone, just like I had requested.

It was for the best, but my heart and soul didn’t give a crap.I felt broken.How could five lousy days completely change my life?How would I ever get over him?

Day turned into night.Night turned into morning.

I got ready to get on the plane and go home.

I’D LOSTher.

I stared at the empty bottles of liquor lining the tiki bar.I was already past drunk, but I needed desperately to pass out so I could sleep.Her face haunted me.The sound of her voice whispering my name burned my ears.The scent of her sweet, hot pussy tortured my sanity.

I thought about trying one more time, but already knew it was over.She needed a man who was whole, and I’d already proved I was a ghost.Would I ever figure it out?Would I finally have enough guts to get my shit together?

I didn’t know.Just realized I was broken without her.

Day turned into night.I drank.

Finally I passed out.

My last image was Quinn standing by the lake, a sad expression on her face as I frantically reached out for her.But it was too late.She turned and disappeared into the sparkling sunlight while I watched her go.

Six Weeks Later

“OKAY, CLASSdismissed.See you all Monday.”

I sighed with relief, closed my books, and began packing up for the weekend.Of course, I had two extra shifts at the Senior Care Home, and an intense session for the rehabilitation clinic, but I didn’t care.I hadn’t been sleeping well, and Mac and Cassie had been giving me crap about decreasing my workload, but I ignored them.

It kept me busy.It kept me from remembering.

I stared out the window and studied the campus grounds.The temperature had dropped this week and hovered in the low fifties.I missed Key West.Sometimes, it felt like a magical dream.The sun and sand.The decadence of the numerous Sex and the Beach drinks.And James.The endless, sweet ecstasy of being held by him, shuddering into orgasm after orgasm.

Shaking my head firmly, I threw the books in my backpack and headed out.I missed him every day.For the first week, every time my phone rang or beeped, I’d jump, my heart crazily beating as I checked the screen and prayed it would be him.It never was.After a full month passed hearing nothing, I knew he’d moved on.Without me.

I tightened my coat from the chill of the wind and trudged across the main square of the campus.What had I expected?I’d told him clearly to get his shit together and that we wouldn’t work.Most guys couldn’t handle such truth, and he probably thought it was the biggest rejection of his life.And it was.But I still loved him.Maybe I’d always love him.I pictured myself ten years from now, studying the paper and finding an article showcasing the new hot artist, James Hunt.He’d be married and happy, long forgetting me, and I’d be single with lots of cats.

Ah, hell.Get over it, Quinn.It was a brief fling and he’d moved on.Maybe he loved me for those few days, but wasn’t that cliché famous for a reason?

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