Page 30 of Chasing Me

He’s a lot like Quinn, the voice whispered inside me.

I ignored the voice and took a seat.The worn leather creaked gently under my weight.Brian straightened out his desk, then steepled his fingers and spoke.“Quinn is doing quite well here.I don’t want to spoil her news in case she wanted to surprise you, so I hope you don’t say anything.I offered her a full-time position at the center.”

Joy and pride rushed through me.I grinned, so damn happy for her.She’d been busting her ass for years, and it finally paid off.I shook my head, trying to keep my emotions in check.“That’s great news.Nah, I won’t let her know I got tipped off.You made the right choice.Quinn won’t let you down.”

“I’m not worried about Quinn,” Brian said firmly.“I’m more worried about her relationship with you.”

And just like that, the boxing gloves were thrown into the ring.

I grabbed them right away.“Do you think I’m stupid?”I asked softly.“I know you’re into her.I know you’ve been whispering in her ear, probably talking shit about me.But if you think you can tempt Quinn away, you don’t know her at all.She loves me.”

His lips thinned.“We’ve talked a lot over the past few weeks.Yes, she loves you.But I also know you’re holding her back.I know she’s already wracked with guilt, trying to meet her responsibilities yet keep you happy.How many times has she apologized for the late nights and extra workloads?You think her schedule will get better?It won’t.I push my full-timers to complete their master’s degree and go through additional training.You’re uneducated.Working at a coffee shop.Yes, you’re a serious artist, which I commend.But how long before you can support yourself?Is Quinn going to support you while you try your hand at making it in a competitive world where the percentages are against you?”

“You’re an asshole.”I fumed, swallowing past my desire to beat the shit out of him.“I know how guys like you work.You play the mentor role with her, put a few bugs in her ear that she deserves better, and then step in when things get rough.I bet you want me to rush home and tell her about this conversation.You’d like that, wouldn’t you?You could play the wounded boss, deny it, say I misconstrued and I’m a hot-tempered little boy.But Quinn is worth more than that to me.I would never put her job at risk for a piece of shit like you.”

I got up from the chair, too disgusted to continue.I’d have to figure out how to move forward without telling Quinn, but damned if I’d ruin her good news or her satisfaction in finally reaching her goals.She deserved more.

More than you, the voice said.Brian may be right.You have nothing to offer her.

Of course, I had a million dollars in my trust fund, just ready to use.But I knew if I dipped into my parents’ money, I’d sell myself out for good.There’d be no going back or carving my own way.I’d be successful and keep Quinn.But inside, I’d be a lie, and it would eat a piece of my soul every day of my life until I was nothing but a shell.

“You don’t understand, James.I’m not trying to outwit you for the girl.I’m telling you this because I know, man.I was there.I got married to a girl when we were young, and we tore each other apart.Quinn needs stability.She’s her own worst enemy because she’s driven to succeed at everything she does.It’s the classic trait of the child of an alcoholic.She’ll race far ahead of you in her drive to help others and be the best, and the guilt will cripple her when you can’t keep up.I don’t want to see you both destroyed.”Brian paused, and his face changed from that of a man trying to beat a competitor to more of a confidant.His voice came out a bit husky.“You’re going to break her heart without even knowing it.”

Everything inside me stilled.Rebelled and screamed against the words that peppered my soul like bullets.Wanting to howl with the pain, I managed to keep my shit together and not show him how his speech affected me.

“If you care about Quinn at all, keep your distance.And leave us alone.”

I left.Walked for a while.Checked my phone and got Quinn’s text about waiting for me at home.My head hurt like I had a morning hangover.

Was I wrong?Everyone kept telling me the same thing over and over.My friends.My parents.My art teacher.Brian.I wasn’t good for Quinn.We were too different, and I’d never be who she needed.I’d never be able to make her happy.

Had she been confiding in Brian about our relationship this whole time?Were their heart-to-hearts becoming more, but she was afraid to tell me?

I walked, and thought, while it darkened and the full moon peeked out to play with the grumpy night clouds.I didn’t know what to do.If I were strong enough, maybe I’d sacrifice my own happiness and let her go, but the thought made my every iota buck in sheer denial.No way was I giving up Quinn.I’d find a way to give her what she wanted if it killed me.

I finally went home, took the long, deep breath yogis always talked about, and walked in.

“Finally!”She jumped up from the couch, a gorgeous sparkle in those inky eyes, and launched herself at me.I caught her, held her close, and wondered why I suddenly had a sick pit in my stomach.Focus.I needed to focus.

“I texted you, and I was waiting, and I wanted to tell you all calm, and maybe plan it, but I can’t wait, I have to tell you now!I got the job, James!I got the full-time job at the New Beginnings!Brian told me today.”

I grabbed her tight, loving the flush on her cheeks and the curve of her soft lips, and damned if I didn’t almost choke up, I was so fucking happy for her.Sometimes, in Quinn’s presence, I felt like I was around greatness.Not the sugary, clichéd type of do-gooders I’d heard of before.No, Quinn just vibrated at a higher level, all intensity and purity, every part of her soul making mine lighter and more whole.

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” I murmured in her ear.“Not surprised.Just proud.”

She laughed, clinging to me, then gripped the back of my head and brought it down, feasting on my mouth like she was ravenous, and I was a perfectly cooked rib eye, ready to eat.She gave me everything in that kiss, her lips opening wide, arching up so her sweet breasts cushioned my chest, and I had no doubt she was aroused and ready to go.I grew hard and thick, my jeans shrinking in a matter of seconds, and I wanted her so fucking bad, craved to rip off her pants, part her legs, shove her over the couch, and pound inside of her, over and over, so deep and hard she’d never think of another man again.

I took the kiss deeper, rougher, and she ate it up, practically burning up in my arms for me, my touch, my cock, and something exploded within me.I tore off her sweater, panting hard, and she ripped at my jeans, shoving down my underwear and stroking my cock, until I almost lost it and precum coated the tip, and I was crazed to take her.

“Yes, now, now,” she chanted, dropping to the floor and pulling me down on top of her.I growled, shoved her panties aside, and got ready to plunge deep, like the animal everyone believed I was, the animal IknewI was.

I hesitated one moment.Looked at her face.And almost broke apart.

Her eyes were closed, lips parted, gasping for breath as she waited for me to fuck her.I remembered that first day on my yacht in Key West when I took her for the first time.She surprised me with her wildness and innate sexuality, allowing me to go deep into my hidden fantasies and claim her the way I craved.In passion, in anger, in celebration, in frustration.The dark, seething intensity inside me sprang free, but it scared the shit out of me, who I really was.I wanted to fuck her with everything uncivilized, until there was nothing left of either of us.

Dear God, Quinn deserved more.She should have been demanding care and tenderness.She should have been made love to like a fucking goddess I worshipped, not like this, on the dirty floor, with her underwear shoved aside like a whore.

I cringed, but it was too late for me.Already, I was losing control, ready to come just from the musky scent of her arousal, inches from her sweet pussy I wanted to claim.I clenched my teeth, shut my eyes, and scrambled for control.Then I slid home.

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