Page 54 of Lovewell Lane

I was suddenly grateful I was sitting. “Why me?”

He looked up at the night sky. I wasn’t sure what answers he would find there, but I looked up to see if I could find them too.

“There isn’t one reason. You don’t tick off all the boxes on a checklist. I could say you’re smart and funny. Or you drive me absolutely crazy. Or you’re good with Tessa, and you care about my family and this town. It isn’t any of those things individually, it’s just— you. The way you dance when you’re alone like you’re having the time of your life. Your obsession with the movie Parent Trap. Your incessant need to always have a ridiculous amount of baked goods on hand.”

I looked at him, stunned into silence for potentially the first time in my life. My bones ached, my muscles screamed, my head spun, and yet I still wanted to run into his arms. Kiss him. Tell him I would solve all his problems and make his life better.

“You were right, about me being the one that’s closed off,” I blurted. “I don’t know if I can do it.” I waved my hand around in the air. “All of this. I’m so afraid of messing it all up.”

“You don’t need to,” he answered. “Not now.”

I nodded. I had no fucking clue what he meant, but the silence between us was comfortable and calm and I didn’t want to change that by thinking too hard.

“How did it feel?” Derek asked. “Your first day of opening the restaurant.”

“Great.” I smiled. “It was everything I dreamed of. People were happy to see me. Everyone was so kind, and people who had never even met joined together at tables to eat. It was my own little community. I’m lucky I get to do it again tomorrow.”

“We’re going to need more parking spaces if you keep this up.”

I couldn’t help but burst into laughter at his words. It was so classically Derek, I felt a little delirious with giggles. “Maybe.” I traced the edge of the ornate picture frame in my lap with a finger. “There were a lot of sad emotions too. Nostalgia, I guess. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Because of your dad?”

I nodded. “He would be proud. It’s weird to think of him now. I guess he doesn’t fit into a box, just like you. Growing up, I thought he was the greatest man in the universe, but now I know he cheated on my mom. And I kind of hate him for that.”

Derek winced and rocked his chair with a foot planted on the ground. “Not that you’re a cheater, sorry, I didn’t mean to compare you to my dad. What you said just reminded me of him.”

“I know, Margo,” Derek said softly. “Everyone has their vices, I guess. Though, I will never understand that one.”

“What’s yours?” I stole his beer to take a drink of it. “Your vice, I mean.”

He sat back and tilted his head thoughtfully. “Control. It was what kept us all alive after my mom died and Slick got injured. I took care of everything, and always knew what everyone was doing. Especially Jack and Calli, since they were so young. I could probably loosen the reins now, but it’s not easy.”

“What’s yours?” He asked after another beat of silence.

“Running. Anytime I feel someone isn’t doing right by me or I’m unhappy, I just leave.” I watched as Derek visibly tensed up in his chair. “This place, though, I haven’t felt the urge once.”

“What if you do?”

“Huh.” I looked back at the stars. “I think I would stay anyway. I guess it depends. I don’t want to waste my life somewhere I’m unhappy.”

Derek finished his beer and set it down a little too roughly. The clang of the beer glass on the metal table made me blink at him. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Can I ask you something else?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“Has Tessa done that before? Tried to set you up with anyone?”

“No.”

I couldn’t help my peal of laughter that followed his grumble of an answer. “Funny that she chose the one woman you can’t stand the most. Poor Tess. You know, most single dads would encourage their kids to pull that shit more often.”

Derek stared at me inscrutably. I felt like a bug under a magnifying glass under his gaze. There was no quirk of his lips, no crinkles next to his eyes, nothing. No hint of any amusement.

18

Derek

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