Page 73 of Lovewell Lane

“It was more than that.”

I froze, not sure where he was going with this.

Slowly, I set a spoon down on the drying rack and turned to face him. “Was it?”

He nodded, and I could see it— the shift, the self-restraint he’d clearly been fighting in his head finally giving in.

“It was.”

I leaned back against the counter and refolded the spare dish towel that hung under the sink in my hands, just to keep them busy. I suddenly felt unsure of myself. I crossed and uncrossed my arms.

“I didn’t plan for this,” he said.

“I know,” I answered, maybe a little too quickly. “Neither did I.”

I searched his face and those dark eyes of his, the way his jaw tightened like it always did when he was working something out.

“Tessa adores you.”

That hit me harder than I expected.

I nodded. Lots of kids liked me. But Derek and I both knew this was different. It was one thing to have a friendship with the kid next door. It was another to have a bond with the kid of the person you were seeing romantically.

The nerves on Derek’s face made me pause.

“I know it’s scary for you, but I adore her too,” I said. “I know we said we should be friends before. It probably is the safest option, but I want more days like today. I really enjoy this town, and my work, and the people here. But days like today are the reason I want to stay here. Forever.”

He dropped his towel and turned to face me. “In almost six years, I haven’t dated anyone. Been with any women. Because I have her, and she deserves my full undivided attention. Not only that, but she deserves to never have anyone walk out on her again. I can’t risk another person doing that to her the way her mom did.”

Derek blew out a breath.

“I don’t know how to do this,” he said before another hefty pause. “With you.”

I looked down at my chipped nail polish. “I’m guessing there’s nothing I can say. To get you to trust me enough.”

Derek stared at me until I met his eyeline again. “It’s not about you, Margo.”

I let out a dry laugh. “I know. You’re just saying ‘it’s not you, it’s me’.” I tilted my head and looked him over thoughtfully. “What if we took it slow? I don’t see how that’s any different to what we’re already doing now.”

“Slow?”

I nodded. “We don’t have to tell anyone. Tessa can think we’re just friendly neighbors, but we try this out. See if it’s worth it. I’ll show you that I won’t leave at the first sign of trouble.”

He crossed his arms. “Margo, if we start this, I won’t be able to stop. I’m not sure what going slow looks like–”

“Dates. We watch movies together after Tessa falls asleep. You come over to Lucky’s for lunch like always, and I eat with you. I’m not moving into your house or asking for a rock on my finger. We’d just test it out.”

Derek looked pained. “But we don’t bring Tessa into it?”

“No,” I said. “Not until you’re ready. That can take however long you need to feel comfortable.”

“I don’t want to mess this up. Not for you or her,” he admitted.

My heart skipped a beat, and I reached out to pull his hands into mine. My heart could’ve broken after seeing so clearly on his face how badly he wanted to let me in. He was always looking after the people he loved. I tried hard not to think about how it would feel to be included in that. He was being so thoughtful with this conversation. We both were. It felt like the first real step in the right direction that we had taken so far.

“You’re not messing anything up,” I said. “We’ll go slow. Protect this.” I gestured between us. “And Tessa. I don’t want her to get hurt either.”

I understood more than anyone what it was like to have both parents check out mentally. My mom might not have completely left like Tessa’s did, but she relieved herself of her parenting duties all the same.

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