Page 29 of The Iron Vow

It paused. Our Nyx had come forward, her expression not cold or hostile, but grim. As if she was on the brink of some terrible realization that hadn’t yet revealed itself, but when it did, it would be devastating. “I...remember you,” she whispered, as those empty sockets stared at her. “Your name sounded familiar. I didn’t recognize you back at InSite, but I know who you are now.”

“Yes.” The Evenfaery nodded. “And I know you, Nyx of the Crescent Order. Or, I know this world’s version of you.” Its deer skull briefly turned in Other Nyx’s direction, before swinging back to observe us again. “Before the Lady sealed us away, I was the king’s advisor, Gilleas of the Nightmare Court.” He turned and nodded at me. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Queen of the Iron Fey.”

I took a slow breath to absorb everything we had just learned. I still didn’t know what was happening here, but in this world, the deer-headed faery was Gilleas, not the enemy we had fought below InSite. “Has Grimalkin told you everything, then?”

“No.” The raspy voice sounded faintly amused as he shook his head. “As usual, our furry sage has deemed it wiser to withhold certain information until we are all present to hear it. Apparently, he wishes to tell the story only once.”

“As usual?” Puck repeated. “Not that I’m arguing with you, but it sounds like you two already know each other.”

“What an observant statement, Goodfellow,” Grimalkin said from the desk, punctuating it with a yawn. “I am almost surprised.”

“I have met Grimalkin before,” Gilleas said, confirming what everyone already suspected. “Before the Lady sealed us away, I remember having long conversations with him in the wyldwood, and in Evenfall itself. I do not recognize any of you,” he went on, gazing at the rest of us, until his gaze landed on Nyx. “With one exception, of course. The king’s protectors. The Order of the Crescent Blades. I know you. I have known your organization for a long time.”

“That doesn’t explain why there are two of us,” Nyx said, with a quick glance at her twin. “Or how you can be here when...”

The Evenfaery known as Gilleas tilted his skull head.

“When you killed me,” he finished softly. “Back at InSite.”

Nyx didn’t flinch, but she did sink a little further into her hood. Puck groaned and ran both hands through his hair. “Okay, I feel like my head is gonna explode,” he said, looking at the rest of us. “If anyone wants to throw out an explanation that actually makes sense, I’d really appreciate it.”

“I have my theories,” Gilleas rasped. “But that is all they are—theories.”

“There is one explanation—” Grimalkin began.

“No,” Gilleas said, whirling on him. “No, I will not accept that.”

“Accept it or not, it is the only viable answer.”

Gilleas seemed agitated now, glancing back at us. “I would like to hear your story first,” he said. “From the beginning. Before we can solve the equation, we first must know the problem.” He glanced around his extraordinarily cluttered space and made a hopeless gesture with his hands. “It seems my chairs were eaten again. Please, sit or stand wherever you are comfortable.”

The only chair in the room was the stool in front of Gilleas’s desk, and the floor was pretty much covered in books and clutter, so sitting was not an option. Near the door, Other Nyx made a furtive gesture with two fingers, and the other assassins save Varyn turned and melted from the room, giving us a little more space. Gilleas himself turned and crossed the room to his desk, brushed away the scrolls he’d been writing on, and sat atop the surface. Lacing long fingers under his sharp, bony chin, he nodded at me. “Begin,” he rasped, “whenever you are ready.”

We left nothing out.

Starting from the moment Puck and Nyx showed up in the Iron Kingdom with news that a deadly new threat had been seen in the Nevernever. Sometimes Keirran would take over the narrative, telling the story of how one Elder Nightmare had attacked Touchstone, and the chaos that came after. Gilleas listened intently, stopping us to ask questions about things he did not understand. Which, unfortunately, since he had been trapped in Evenfall for so long, was a lot. When we got to the part with InSite, and how we’d met another version of him trying to open the seal to Evenfall, his demeanor turned even more serious.

“And are you sure of what you encountered?” he asked, holding up one thin talon, as he had done many times throughout the story. “I am sorry, and I do not wish to doubt, but are you certain this faery was me?”

“Yes,” Nyx stated, very quietly. She had been silent up until now, withdrawn into her hood and lurking in a patch of shadow. “It was you, Gilleas. You and the faery we met at InSite were the same.” Her gaze flickered to Other Nyx, also listening silently in the corner. “Just like we are the same.”

This seemed to trouble him greatly. One claw rose to his face, his claws scraping against bone. “It cannot be,” he whispered, and his voice trembled as he spoke. “Itcannotbe. But then, why have none of my equations worked? Why do they fail when I know they are perfect? At least one of them should have yielded results, but all my efforts are for naught. It makes no sense. Unless...”

Abruptly, his hollow gaze went to Other Nyx. “Do you remember how you returned to Evenfall before the way was sealed?” he asked.

The Evenfaery blinked, frowning. “I...no,” she answered, shaking her head. “It’s one of those things I can never remember. We were in the Nevernever, tracking down the Lady, trying to stop her ritual before it happened. We’d found and killed a few of the high sidhe, but we never foundher.” Other Nyx’s frown deepened, a flash of pain going through her golden eyes before she continued. “The next thing I remember is being back in Evenfall, in the palace of the Nightmare Court. But it was different. The palace was crawling with Nightmares, and we had to flee. Eventually, we made our way here, looking for answers. You know the rest.”

“It is the same for me,” Gilleas whispered. “I was also in the Nevernever that day, looking for the Lady. Or for anyone who would listen. And then...there is a gap where I remember nothing. I don’t know how I returned to Evenfall, but I also found myself back in the palace, and it was full of Nightmares. And I could sense something deep within the palace, something angry and powerful. Unfortunately, with the number of Nightmares, I too had to withdraw. Only I came straight here, to the Great Library, intending to find answers. I have found more questions and frustrations than anything else.” He paused, and then, almost as if he feared the answer, turned to our Nyx again and asked, “Shadow of our shadow, do you remember what happened to you when the way to Evenfall was sealed?”

“I do now,” Nyx said softly. “We became trapped on the other side, in the Nevernever. I remember meeting the Lady, and being confused, because I didn’t remember Evenfall or how I got there, or even who I was speaking to. I just knew something terrible had happened. But we ended up serving the Lady as the First Queen, until... I guess I Faded away or fell asleep, because the world was different when I woke up.”

Gilleas visibly trembled. “No,” he whispered, holding his head in both hands. “If this is true, everything I have worked for, everything I have tried to accomplish, has been for nothing.”

“You know I am right.” Grimalkin’s voice echoed in the room, low and somehow terrible. “The theory makes sense. You have to face the truth, no matter how painful.”

“Gilleas, what is he talking about?” Other Nyx asked, looking at the historian.

The thin faery was silent for a long moment, and then he slowly raised his head, his voice shaking. “We never returned to Evenfall,” Gilleas whispered. “Because, on that day, we became trapped on the Nevernever side when the seal was created. You—” he continued, turning to Other Nyx “—and your Order went on to serve the First Queen of Faery. I...apparently went mad, created a place called InSite in the human world...and eventually died, at the hands of a fellow Evenfaery.”

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