Page 32 of The Iron Vow

“At this point in time,” Gilleas went on, “whispers began to reach me, even deep in the Great Library. No one had seen the king in years. But we all knew it was his Nightmares that provided us the glamour we needed to survive. No one had been to the palace, or what remained of it, since the Lady sealed us away. It was a death trap, crawling with the largest, most vicious of Elder Nightmares. But there were also rumors that, in the ancient throne room that no one could get to, the king slept his endless sleep. I became obsessed with that knowledge. I began to think that, if only I could reach the king, even though he dreamed, I might learn the secret to freeing Evenfall. And so, I began the journey across the realm to the king’s palace. And this time, I went alone.

“It was a miracle that I found the palace,” Gilleas continued. “And an even bigger miracle that I reached the throne room alive. I saw Nightmares that chilled me to the core, creatures that have scarred me from the inside, that I see in my mind’s eye even now. I nearly perished many, many times, but somehow, I made it to the throne room, to the seat of the king.”

Gilleas stopped. His claws curled into themselves, and he began to shake. “I will never forget,” he whispered. “The throne sat empty. The king wasn’t there. I had made the journey for nothing.”

A flicker of dread went through me. Our entire plan, such as it was, consisted of tracking down the Nightmare King. If Gilleas had already been to his castle and the king was not there, where else could we go? How were we going to find him?

“I couldn’t go back,” Gilleas continued, unaware of my bleak thoughts. “The Elder Nightmares knew I was there. I had only minutes before they would find me. I could hear them approaching, and I knew I was not going to survive.

“And then.” Gilleas raised his head. “I saw a door. At the back of the throne room. In itself, this was nothing. The palace has hundreds, thousands, of doors. But I had lived at the palace for a long, long time. I remembered everything about it. And I knew that this door was out of place. It was not there before. Which was odd, because—save for the Nightmares—the rest of the palace was as I remembered. Except for this. When had this door appeared? Where did it lead?

“Unfortunately, I did not have time to wonder or to research any of my theories,” Gilleas said. “The Nightmares had found me. They flooded the throne room, and all I could do was run. Of course, there was nowheretorun...except to the door at the back of the throne room. I reached the door, and as I opened it, I felt...something. For just a moment, I saw what was on the other side. Then, I stepped through the doorway, and...”

Gilleas stopped again. “I found myself back here,” he whispered, raising his talons to the room around us. “At the library, as if I had never made the journey at all. Before this, I could not tell you what happened when I went through the door, why I suddenly vanished and reappeared somewhere else, but... I think I know the reason now. That doorway, wherever it went, it led to a place that was outside the king’s dream. But I could not leave the Dream, because I am part of it. I am not real, and I cannot exist outside his dream world. None of us can.”

“I don’t understand,” I said. “We have seen Nightmares in the Between, and the fallen Evenfey in the real world. A whole army of Evenfey breached the portal and entered the Nevernever. How can they exist if they’re part of the king’s dreams?”

“The Elder Nightmares are glamour made manifest,” Gilleas replied dully. “They are not fey, but they can turn Evenfey into weaker versions of themselves. And they can leave this dream world because they are still part of the Nightmare King, his glamour and emotions and memories, though once on the other side, I suspect they will eventually Fade. But for us—for those who Faded away and were reborn from the king’s memories—there is no escape. We are part of the Dream, part of the nightmare. We cannot exist outside it, because we are not real.”

Silence fell once more. Everyone, even Puck and Varyn, were lost in their own thoughts, trying to process what had been revealed. I didn’t know what to feel, or say, or do. It was like a hole had opened inside me, yawning and terrible. We had come to Evenfall to stop the Nightmare King. We had found a whole world on the other side, filled with unspeakable terrors and living Nightmares. But the Evenfey lived here, too. Faeries like Nyx, Varyn, Anira, the wolflings, the Skitterfolk. And somehow, against all odds, with no glamour and no magic to sustain them, they had survived.

Only, they hadn’t. According to Gilleas and Grimalkin, they weren’t real at all. The entire realm of Evenfall was nothing but a dream, a memory, from the mind of the Nightmare King. And when he woke up, the world of the Dream would vanish, as would everyone we had met on our journey thus far.

“No.” It was Varyn who spoke first. The Evenfaery lifted his head to glare at Gilleas, though more than a hint of desperation shone through his golden eyes. “I can’t accept this,” he said. “I have memories that go back hundreds of years. I still feel...everything. Pain and grief and anger and—” he shot a split-second glance at Other Nyx, leaning against a shelf “—other emotions. I know I’m real. You can’t tell me that I am nothing, that I’m just a figment of my king’s imagination.”

No one answered him, either to agree with or deny his claims. Varyn glared at us all, then turned and stalked to one of the bookshelves in the corner. And silence throbbed in the room once more.

“So,” Puck said at last, his voice unusually subdued. “What do we do now?”

I took a deep breath and raised my head. “We won’t know anything for certain,” I told the room, “until we find the Nightmare King. He is at the heart of everything. He is the one we need to seek out. Perhaps there is still a way to save this world.”

But Gilleas shook his bony head. “This world,” he whispered, “is not real. It was never real. You cannot save something that does not exist. If the king wakes and his dream disappears, then so be it.” He bowed his head, thin shoulders slumping in defeat. “It will happen eventually. No dream can last forever. Everything I have done has been for nothing.”

“No,” Keirran said, surprising us all. “You’re wrong.”

We turned to him. The Forgotten King stood there with his jaw set and his eyes hard with determination. “Even if it is true,” Keirran said fiercely, “that Evenfall is gone and this world is just a dream, it’s still worth saving. Like Puck said earlier, we werealljust dreams, once. The Iron fey didn’t exist until humans dreamed them into reality. Machina, the original Iron King, created a whole kingdom from the aspirations of mortals. It’s the same for Oberon, Titania, Mab, Puck, the entire Nevernever. Faery exists because of mortal belief—it ebbs and flows with the dreams and imagination of humanity. And it fades when humans no longer remember.”

“This is different,” Gilleas said. “You are still real. Individual fey might vanish if they are forgotten for too long, but the Nevernever still exists. It will not simply disappear if one person wakes up from a dream. We are nothing but shadows, memories who have not yet realized their world is a lie.”

“You are more than that,” Keirran said stubbornly. “You have your own dreams, and fears, and aspirations. You’ve worked so hard to free Evenfall. Nyx—” he glanced at the other assassin in the corner “—wants to protect the fey who live here. Anira grieved the loss of her mate for years. The Skitterfolk depend on each other to survive.” He clenched his fists. “Everyone I’ve seen, everyone I have met, talked to, interacted with, has proven to me that this world and those who live in it are worth saving.”

“I agree with Keirran,” Ash said. “This might be a dream, but I cannot tell the difference between this world and the real world. If this Evenfall vanishes and everyone disappears, it will be a tragedy.”

“Seconded, ice-boy,” Puck chimed in. His gaze first went to Nyx, then to her twin against the shelf. “If the people here are anything like the originals, there’s no way I’m letting them vanish. We’re going to save them. Or at least, we’re going to make sure the king never wakes up.”

“How?” Gilleas asked. “How do you intend to save something that is not there? That will vanish the moment the king opens his eyes? Or perishes?”

“The door in the throne room,” I said. “You told us that it might lead out of the Dream. If we can get through the door, I bet the Nightmare King will be on the other side.”

“You will never get there,” the Evenfaery stated. “You do not know this world. The palace of the Nightmare King is not a place one can simply walk to if you do not know the way. And now, the palace and the surrounding area are swarming with Elder Nightmares. They are not like the ones you have seen so far. These are infinitely more powerful. It was only through luck and knowledge of the palace that I found my way to the throne room the first time, and even then, I nearly lost my life.” Gilleas gave me a scrutinizing look, hollow eyes seeing far too much. “How do you intend to fight your way past the Nightmares? You have no glamour, no magic, and no power. How do you even intend to find the palace?”

“I will lead them there.”

Other Nyx’s voice echoed softly in the lull. She raised her head, watching us with solemn gold eyes. “I know the way,” she went on. “Varyn and I will take them to the palace, and we will protect them from the Nightmares once we arrive.”

“Foolish.” Gilleas shook his bony head once more. “Everyone here is reacting on emotion alone and not thinking things through. Shadow warrior, you will be taking them to their deaths,” he told Other Nyx. “Even if they are very powerful in their own realms, this is Evenfall. If they have no magic and no glamour, they will not stand a chance against the Elder Nightmares.”

“Then how do we get the magic?” I asked. “The Evenfey survive by taking the glamour from the king’s offerings. We’ve seen them do it, and I’ve felt the glamour from the Nightmares we’ve killed. Can we do the same?”

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