Page 57 of Fateless

Clearing my head sounded nice. Right now, it felt like a tangled mess of uncertainty, fear, anxiety, and dread. I stepped out the door with Raithe, and together we walked down the silent temple hallway until we came to the main chamber. The largefront doors still lay open, and silver-blue moonlight filtered through the opening.

As we walked down the temple steps into the courtyard, a cold breeze hit my skin. I shivered, pulling my hood up farther and crossing my arms to conserve heat. During the day the air was suffocatingly hot, but at night, when the suns fully disappeared, the temperatures plummeted as well. I gazed upward and saw a blanket of glimmering diamonds spread overhead, a sight rarely seen in Kovass, where the haze and the glow of millions of lanterns stifled the view of the sky. Reaching the courtyard wall, I leaned my elbows against the cold stones and gazed down at the lights of Damassi scattered below us. From way up here, the city seemed peaceful; no screaming, no snapping fires, no roaring inferno consuming everything in sight.

I felt Raithe beside me, also gazing at the lights and lanterns spread below. I realized that, just like Halek, he had probably been all across the world, seen cities and kingdoms that, with my sheltered Kovass upbringing, I’d never even imagined.

“What it’s like?” I murmured, and felt him glance at me. “Irrikah, I mean. People know the iylvahn city is out there, and yet no one has ever seen it. No outsiders anyway.”

“People have seen it,” Raithe said, equally softly. “They just... forget about it, when they leave. It’s part of the magic the queen employs to keep our people safe. Any non-iylvahn who leaves Irrikah will soon lose all their memories of the city—where it is, what it looks like, how it is laid out, everything.”

“What is it like there?” I asked. “If you can tell me, that is.”

“I can,” Raithe said, turning to watch me intently. “But...you’ll forget what we talked about by tomorrow. You’ll remember wehada conversation, you might even remember what it was about, but the details of Irrikah will fade from your memory and be lost. Some people can find that infuriating. I wanted to warn you first.”

“Oh,” I said. I’d never heard of that. “I’d still like to know,” I went on, gazing up at him. “Even if I won’t remember. What is it really like, from someone who has actually lived there?”

Raithe paused. Turning, he mimicked my pose, resting his arms on the stone wall and gazing down into the city. “Green,” he said after a moment. His voice was soft, almost wistful. “Once you get through the Maze and past the gates, it’s like you’re stepping into another world. There are trees, and grass, and flowers; more color and life than you could ever imagine. Though it’s taken hundreds of years of dedicated work to bring the land back from nothing.”

A green city, full of life and flowers. Raithe was right—I couldn’t even imagine such a thing. “You must miss it.”

“I do,” Raithe murmured, his gaze dark and far away. “Very much so. Every time I leave the city, I’m reminded of what the world is like for those outside. There are some iylvahn who have never seen the kingdoms beyond the Maze. They’ve never been outside the city walls, and have no desire to venture forth. I can understand that. Why would you leave a paradise to go into hell?”

“It’s notthatbad out here, is it?” I joked, making a corner of his lip twitch.

“A sun-scorched wasteland with demon abominations thatchase you down to devour you?” His voice was wry. “I can’t imagine why I would think that.”

I poked his elbow. “Hey, I’m the sarcastic one here. Don’t let me rub off on you.”

Raithe smiled, though his expression was serious in the next instant. Turning, he moved a step closer, pale eyes suddenly intense. My heartbeat quickened as he gently raised one hand toward my hood to brush it back.

I stiffened.

He stopped immediately, and a faint, puzzled furrow creased his brow as he gazed down at me. “Why are you afraid?” he asked.

I ducked my head, cheeks burning. “Because,” I whispered, turning away. “If people don’t see me, then I don’t exist. I can be invisible, or a shadow on the wall. In my world, staying alive depends on my ability to blend in and be unnoticed. If people see me...”

I faltered, unable to voice my true thoughts. If people really saw me, they would realize what I was: A street rat. A thief. A girl who wasn’t special, or pretty, or remarkable in any way. It was easier to be invisible and go unnoticed than for someone like Raithe to look at me and see there was nothing worth looking at.

“But I do see you,” Raithe murmured. Stepping close, his fingers gently took my arm and turned me to face him once more. “I see a girl who I thought was just a thief, but who turned out to be so much more. I see someone who has survived a great tragedy, who looked a god of destruction in the face and lived. I’ve seen her cunning, and bravery, and intelligence. And even in our short time together, I’ve watched her change from someonewhose only thought was of her own survival to a person willing to put herself in danger for others.”

“Once,” I protested. “I did that once.”

“Would you do it again?”

“I...” I hesitated, really thinking about it. If another abomination attacked, if I looked down and saw a monstrous, eight-legged fiend crawling up the side of the mountain toward us, would I turn and flee? Vanish into the city and find shelter in the hundreds of cracks and hidey-holes where I’d be safe from the monster? Or would I fight, knowing Halek and Raithe—and Kysa, if she were here—would certainly stay behind and battle the creature to the death?

“I... yes,” I whispered, dazed with the realization. Iwouldstay and fight. Even if it meant my death, even if the very thought terrified me to the core, I couldn’t run away and leave the others to die. “For you and Halek and Kysa, I would.”

Raithe ran his hands up my arms, sending a shiver through my whole body. “That day on the strider, you saved my life,” he murmured. “When you came back, that decision changed the fates of at least three people, maybe dozens more. There is no doubt in my mind.” Once more, his hand rose to my hood, and this time, I let it fall back. The chill night wind ruffled my hair, lifting it from my shoulders, as I stared into the pale, beautiful eyes of the iylvahn gazing down at me.

“You are Sparrow,” he whispered, bending close. The hand that had brushed my hood cupped the side of my face, warming my skin. “You are the Fateless.”

And he kissed me.

His lips were soft and cool, and I closed my eyes, a thousand sensations sweeping through my center. Warmth bloomed in my stomach, spreading through me until I could no longer feel the chill, only the flickering heat between us, the gentle press of his mouth on mine. My hands crept up his shoulders and cupped the back of his head to pull him closer, and his arms wrapped around my waist in return. Disbelief and shock battled elation. Raithe, the deadly, long-lived iylvahn assassin, was kissing me; it felt more like a dream than anything real.

Because he thinks you’re theFateless.

That seed of doubt wriggled in, took hold, and began to spread. What if I wasn’t Fateless? Would Raithe’s interest in me dissolve? Would he be angry and disappointed if I wasn’t what he hoped? What he had sworn to protect all this time? If, when we reached the iylvahn city, the queen took one look at me and declared that I wasn’t Fateless, what would Raithe do?

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