Page 65 of Fateless

No.Desperation, rage, horror, and grief rose up within me, a storm of boiling emotions. They pressed against the barrier around me, straining it. I sensed Vahn’s surprise, then alarm, as I turned my fury on him, taking everything I felt and pushing outward. The wall around me shimmered and, like a tree bent to its breaking point, cracked.

I will not let you hurt him.

“Raithe, stop!”

My voice left my mouth as a ragged shout, as if invisible fingers were curled around my neck, crushing my windpipe. Vahn’s grip on the knife didn’t waver, but with all my will, I lifted my other hand and grabbed the blade at my throat, feeling it slice my fingers open as I squeezed.

Raithe reacted immediately. Springing forward, he grabbed the arm that held the knife and pried it away from my neck. I felt Vahn snarl, fighting us both and trying to release the fingers around the blade so he could stab it into Raithe.

Then Kysa and Halek closed in from the sides, and the last thing I saw was the blunt end of the insect rider’s spear coming toward my head. I felt a blow to my temple, and then, mercifully, blackness.

Twenty-Two

Pain brought me back to the world of the living.

As I opened my eyes, a throbbing headache assaulted me. I was sitting against the wall of the tent, its shimmery folds rustling around me. The left side of my face above my eye felt hot and swollen, like someone had jabbed it with a needle.

I tried to probe it... and couldn’t. My arms wouldn’t move—because my hands were bound behind my back, wrists lashed together with rough cord. Which, given everything that had happened, didn’t surprise me. Tentatively, I wiggled my fingers and found that my right hand was wrapped in cloth and bandages. They throbbed, but dully, as if the pain had been numbed or suppressed.

“Sparrow.”

My stomach contracted. It washisvoice above me, Raithe’s voice, though I could suddenly feel all three of their gazes. Thankfully, my hood was raised, and I ducked my head even farther, afraid of what I would see in his eyes if I looked up.

“Can you hear me?” Raithe asked. His voice was neutral, carefully guarded, and my throat closed even as I nodded. If he despised me now, I wouldn’t blame him.

“Yes.”

“Come on.” Halek’s voice broke the stillness, soundingpained and impatient. “She’s awake. Cut her loose, already.”

“We don’t know if this is Sparrow or not.” Kysa’s tone was calm but wary. “It sounds like her, but the ma’jhetleader knows her. He knows exactly how to lower our guard, and one of us almost lost his life because of it. How are we to be sure this is Sparrow and not the imposter?”

There was a moment of silence, and I closed my eyes. I could tell them I was me again, but why should they believe anything I said? Besides, I couldn’t muster any defense through the suffocating cloud of shame and guilt. I had almost killed Raithe. And yes, it had been Vahn acting through me, but that didn’t ease the horror any less. If Raithe had died...

He stepped forward, sinking to a knee in front of me. And though I was terrified of what I would see in his eyes, I dragged my gaze up to meet his. His expression was carefully neutral, giving nothing away—the featureless mask of the kahjai.

“Tell me something only Sparrow would know,” he murmured.

I swallowed. My mind spun as I tried to think of the words that would convince him. Raithe waited calmly, no change in his expression, though I could sense Halek holding his breath behind him. Kysa hovered at Halek’s back, casually gripping her spear. If I didn’t come up with a satisfactory answer, that spearhead might find itself in my heart.

Raithe still knelt before me, silent. Wetting my lips, I whispered, “On the sand strider, you told me some of the workers thought there was a ghost haunting the lower machinery decks, and I said it was just mice under the floorboards, but we bothknew it was me.” No change in Raithe’s expression, and I dropped my gaze even as I went on. “And in the temple of Damassi, you said you missed home, that walking into Irrikah was like walking into another world. I remember thinking that I really wanted to see it, even though I’d forget everything about it when I left.”

Raithe watched me in silence for another moment, before he rose and stepped smoothly to my side. I heard the rasp of a knife leaving its sheath, and a moment later the cord around my wrist dropped away.

Halek let out a sigh of relief. “Damn you three,” he breathed, and raked both hands through his hair, making it stand on end. “I think my heart is about to explode from stress, and Fatechasers are famous for not worrying about anything. Sparrow, you okay?” His blue eyes met mine, and the genuine concern in them made my throat close up. I dropped my gaze, unable to answer.

Kysa stepped back. “Come,” she told Halek, tapping his shoulder. “The dragons need saddling, Fatechaser. We’ve lingered here too long, and the twins wait for no one.”

“Yeah, but—ow. Hey, watch the spear, ow! Okay, I’m going, I’m going.”

The two of them shuffled out, the tent folds swishing shut behind them. I stared at my hands, still feeling Raithe’s eyes on me, still uncertain of what I could say. I noticed that whoever had bandaged my hand had done so thoroughly; I remembered the moment the knife edge bit into my fingers, slicing them open as I grabbed the blade. I’d barely even felt the pain. I hadn’t had much of a plan—my whole focus had been to hang on to the knife long enough that Raithe and the others could get to Vahn.

It chilled me now, how far Vahn was willing to go to bring me back. And how easily he could manipulate us all.

Raithe stepped in front of me again. Peeking up, I saw his open hand reaching down to me, a silent offer of support. It nearly made my eyes fill with tears, but I reached out and tentatively grasped the proffered fingers.

“I’m sorry—” I began. But my voice was lost as Raithe pulled me to my feet and into his arms, crushing me to him.

The tears and relief finally spilled over. Closing my eyes, I clung to him, hearing his breath, feeling the rapid beat of his heart against mine. I’d almost lost him. Vahn really would have killed him right in front of me, just like he killed Jeran.

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