Page 66 of Fateless

“I’m so sorry, Raithe,” I whispered into his shirt. My hands curled into fists against his back. “What I almost made you do...”

Raithe gently pulled back, looking me in the eye. “I’m still here,” he said, cupping my cheek with one hand. “Still alive. And that wasn’t you, Sparrow.” His knuckles brushed my skin, catching the tears crawling down my face. “I don’t blame you for anything,” he murmured. “The ma’jhet’s blood magic has always been insidious. I should have known...” He paused, a shadow going through his eyes as he shook his head. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been able to shield you from any of this.”

“Stop,” I whispered. “I wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for you, Halek, and Kysa. I’d be buried under Kovass, or the Dust Sea, or...”Or dead on an altar with Vahn standing over me.“Raithe, you’re the reason I’m here,” I said, not quite able to meet his gaze. “The reason I’m going to Irrikah to talk to a queen about what being Fateless really means. My whole life, I’ve beennothing but a thief. I ran from trouble and hid in the shadows when things got too dangerous. I didn’t stick my neck out for anyone, because I knew they wouldn’t do the same.

“But then,” I went on, breathing deeply to hide the tremor in my voice, “I met you. And Halek, and Kysa. And for the first time, I want to be something more than just a thief. The thought of being Fateless...” My breath caught, and I shook my head. “I’m terrified. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, what anyone expects Icando. But I know I can’t run away and hide from this. All of you showed me that. And now...” I finally peeked up at Raithe and found him studying me, pale eyes intense. “I have people I want to protect. I can’t lose anyone else.”

“You were never just a thief, Sparrow,” Raithe said. “You were always something more—you just had to believe it yourself.” One hand rose and gently traced my cheek, making my insides dance. “I never expected to find you in Kovass,” he went on in a near whisper. “And I never expected...” He paused, his gaze dropping, as if the final words were hard to say. With a sigh, he closed his eyes, his brow furrowing slightly. “I never expected to feel this way,” he finished, making my breath catch and my stomach curl in on itself. “Whatever you decide,” he went on, “whatever Fate has in store for us, I’ll be with you. No one can know their destiny, especially with the Fateless, but if you do have a thread in the Tapestry of the World, I think our stories are pretty well entangled.”

My throat closed up. Suddenly, I didn’t care about blame, or loss, or guarding my heart. I didn’t care about the warnings Kysa had given, that I might or might not be the Fateless, that Raitheknew more than he was letting on. Right now, all that seemed insignificant. Doubt and fear still plagued me, the cynical street thief within me warning me not to trust or get close to anyone ever again. I ignored her. Raithe had been with me every step of the way since Kovass. And earlier, facing down the leader of the ma’jhet, he had been willing to trade his life for mine. For a Fateless whom he knew very little about, with only the slightest hope that she might be enough to change the world.

I reached out and trailed a hand down his jaw, and he shivered. He had gone very still, as if fearing I might pull back if he made any movement at all. Those pale eyes were open and gazing down at me, the longing in them clear. But he didn’t move. This time, I would have to make the choice.

Be brave, Sparrow. For once, take a chance on something that matters.

The sound of someone clearing their throat made me freeze. Kysa stood just outside the tent, gazing in at us. Her spear was in her hand, but the look on her face was one of faint amusement.

“I am sorry,” she said, without a hint of embarrassment, for herself or for us. “But Rhyne and the dragons have been saddled and we are nearly ready to go.” She tilted her head, a slight, almost apologetic smile crossing her lips. “I do need to pack up the tent before we can depart.”

Raithe slumped. I caught flashes of wry disappointment and resignation on his face as he pulled back with a sigh. “Of course,” he murmured, glancing toward the insect rider. I set my jaw with a flare of defiance as he turned away. “I’ll help you take it down—”

Reaching out, I caught his wrist, making him pause. As he glanced back, I stepped forward, snaked an arm around his neck, and pressed my lips to his.

He stiffened, breathing in sharply, and his hands came up to grip my waist. But only a moment passed before he relaxed and leaned in, his arms sliding up to hold me close. My pulse roared in my ears. I was really doing this, completely lowering my walls, offering my heart to an assassin who had once tried to kill me. But that was before everything. Before the soulstone. Before Vahn’s betrayal, the rise of the Deathless King, and the fall of Kovass. Before I knew that the kahjai was one of those unique, beautiful souls who would cause me to question everything. I was Fateless. And for the first time, I was all right with that.

No more, I thought.I can’t be afraid anymore.

Kysa shook her head at us as we pulled back, though her lips were curled in a wry smile. “If you are finished,” she said, causing me to blush and the faintest of pink tinges to spread across Raithe’s neck, “we do need to get moving. As it is, I doubt we are going to reach Carapace Basin before nightfall.”

We pushed our mounts hard the rest of the afternoon, well aware of the passage of time and Namaia sliding farther across the sky. The heat was relentless, but we didn’t stop, continuing across the steppes with one goal in mind: to reach Carapace Basin before Demon Hour the next day. I had already announced that I wasn’t going to sleep until we reached the Scarab Clan. I wasn’t going to give Vahn the opportunity to take control of me again, even if I had to stay awake all night and into the next day. If I wasn’tasleep, he couldn’t find me and force me to hurt my friends. I could tell my decision worried Raithe, but Kysa agreed that it probably was the best course of action, at least until I was protected from magical attacks. So until we were among the Scarab Clan, I would have to stay awake.

My thoughts and emotions were a tangled mess, flitting like agitated birds around my head. Guilt at what Vahn had almost made me do. Fear of what his next move could be. Apprehension about what the Scarab Clan would require, if they would even agree to help. And looming above it all, the knowledge that the Deathless King was out there, poised to make his move. We were just insects to him, and even across the Barren Steppes and the Dust Sea, his presence was still frightening.

But all those thoughts faded into the background whenever Raithe was close. My skin still tingled from the kiss, the memory seared into my mind forever. If I was honest with myself, I was still scared. The part of me that belonged to the guild, that had grown up with thieves and scoundrels in Kovass, that found it difficult to open up and put my trust in anyone, that part was still terrified.

But the other side wanted to trust him, to believe that he wasn’t going to betray me, abandon me, or stab me in the back. To accept that I was safe—truly safe—with him.

And if I was the Fateless, whatever that meant, so be it. I didn’t know what I could do, if a single thief from Kovass could do anything, but I wasn’t going to run from it any longer.

Evening fell, and the temperature dropped as the suns dipped below the horizon. The dragons began to get antsy; we had riddenthem hard all day, and they wanted to stop and rest. But we kept going, pushing on through the evening, as true night fell and the stars came out. Over the flat, empty steppes, they blazed brilliantly against the darkness of the sky, lighting up the plains and stretching on forever. I had never felt so small in my entire life.

Abruptly, my dragon came to a halt, raising its head and flaring its nostrils against the wind. With a snort, it began tossing its head and clawing the ground, making me grab for the reins to steady it. Halek’s mount also began snorting and shaking its head, clearly agitated. I looked to Raithe, who had swung himself off his dragon and grabbed its bridle, speaking to it calmly. It growled and swished its tail, flaring its nostrils, but it didn’t seem quite as nervous as the other two.

I yanked hard on the reins, and my dragon stopped digging gouges in the earth, though it continued to snort and toss its head. Beside me, Halek was having less luck getting his mount to calm down.

“Hey, dragon, do you mind?” Halek finally hopped out of the saddle, holding the reins as the lizard hissed and scratched at the earth. “Did you get a cactus pod under your saddle or what?”

“They sense something,” Raithe answered, gazing warily around. Kysa and Rhyne had gone to scout from the air, so it was only us and the dragons. “Stay alert—something isn’t right.”

A droning of wings announced the arrival of the insect rider. Rhyne descended quickly from the air, and Kysa leaped off his back as soon as he landed.

“There’s a storm coming,” she announced, making my blood chill. “From the west, and it’s traveling fast. We’re not going tomake it to Carapace Basin before it catches us.”

I looked west, into the rising wind, and saw a dark smudge against the horizon. Halek let out a slow breath. “I guess we should find a place to hole up until the storm passes,” he said. “Otherwise, we’re going to be breathing sand.”

Raithe looked at me, then at Kysa. “How far is it to the Scarab Clan camp?” he asked.

Her lips thinned. “If we hurry, we can reach it before dawn. But are you suggesting we go through the storm? Rhyne and I will be fine, but your lizards aren’t going to like it.”

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