Page 23 of Closing on Lynx

My feet twitch, my hands flex, and the world slowly start to seep in between the slits as my eyes slowly open. The lights flick off as the doctor comes to my side.

“Welcome to the land of the living Ms. Gorman. Don’t try to talk or move. Blink your eyes twice if you understand.” I blink twice, slowly letting my eyes open and fall closed.

“Good. Now, do you feel my hand in yours?” the doctor asks. I squeeze his hand, causing him to smile.

“Good.” He writes something on the clipboard he picked up. “Jessikah, I want you to relax. You still have a lot of recovery and healing to do. You have someone who has been waiting for you to open your eyes.” He looks to his left. My eyes follow and land on Paul.

The feelings come rushing through me. This man has been the center of my fantasies since he knocked on my door and pushed his way into my life.

He approaches the side of my bed, leans down, and places his forehead against mine. “I never want to be away from you again,” he says.

“Paul, I will leave you and Jessikah to talk for a bit. Not too long and don’t stress her out. The nurse will be here in about thirty minutes. No hanky panky either,” the doctor states, walking out of the room, looking at the clipboard in his hands.

Paul stares at me before he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He shakes his head back and forth before he lays his head on my chest.

“It’s beating. One of my favorite sounds. But there are so many things about you that are my favorite. Your voice when you are watching the hockey game, it gets so filled with excitement. When you are focused on work and you bite your bottom lip. You have this way about you,” Paul says.

Tears spring to my eyes. I close them to stop the flow, but it doesn’t stop the water from running down my cheeks. His hands frame my cheeks as his thumb brushes at the water streaking down my cheeks.

“Never again, Jess. I will do everything to protect you. Even if it means me not being around you. Sorry, I can’t take away the pain they put on you, and the memories that will haunt you for the future.” He places his lips against mine.

This man has put so much effort into making sure I felt safe prior to my attack. I don’t know how to tell him that right now any man is making me question their intentions. Will he end up beating me just like my ex?

“Okay, Mr. Gallant, I will need you to leave so that Ms. Gorman can get some more sleep. You are welcome to come back tomorrow morning.” The pretty little nurse says, her eyes running up and down Paul’s body. Maybe she should be with him. He can protect her.

He leans down and places his lips against mine. He doesn’t move. He breathes in deep, as if he is taking in the way I smell, to keep it in his memory. I don’t know that hospital and sweat would be a smell I’d want in memory.

“I will be back bright and early tomorrow. There are a few people who would like to see you. Jessikah, I am so happy I can finally look into those beautiful eyes and see them full of life.” Then he mumbles what sounds like I love you before he spins on his heels and leaves the room.

“Girl, that man is fine!” the nurse states, waving her hand like he set her panties on fire. I look to the large window in my room, before I turn my head and close my eyes. Maybe sleep will take away the hurt that is coursing through my body.

Sleep takes me under, leaving me wondering if I could ever let Paul go. Can I overcome the fear of any man touching me?

Chapter Seventeen

Lynx

“Pres?”

“Hello?”

I feel a tap on my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts. Looking around the room, I realize I have been in a church meeting with my brothers. My thoughts are in a hospital room, wondering if Jessikah will be able to overcome not only all the physical abuse she suffered, but if her emotional state will also be onboard with the healing process.

“Sorry, my mind is somewhere else,” I mumble, sitting straighter in my chair and leaning forward.

“We understand. The police are still all over the house and claiming the club is the one that killed those people. The man across the street claims he didn’t see anything and that his cameras were broken,” Skoden states, looking at the paper he has in front of him. Before he continues to brief us about the police situation and warning us to keep our noses clean.

“How’s Jessikah?” Sue asks. Looking around the table, I see all the men’s eyes are on me. They are waiting for an update.

“She woke up today. Hasn’t said a word. But…” I take a deep breath. How can I tell these men she looks scared. Scared of what, though? That she is going to disappear? That she will walk away from me?

“But…” Brownie asks, his eyes look as weary as mine.

“But she looks so scared. It makes me think that in the future, she will walk away from me and never look back. I didn’t protect her. I was so lost in the paper in front of me…” I let the rest fall silent. They all witnessed Neo go off on Jessikah.

“Can we all go and see her?” Slick asks, looking around the room. All the brothers are nodding their heads. They want to see her.

“Yes, we can all go and see her in the morning. I want you guys to know she means something to me. More than something. I can’t see my life without her in it. But my fear is her mental state. I am afraid before I can prove to her that I will always make sure she is protected and doesn’t have to worry about anything, she’ll cut me loose. Her eyes tell me I will have a huge uphill battle to keep that from happening,” I state.

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