Page 30 of Night in a Waste Land

He shrugged with one shoulder. “They had ‘em in the stockroom.”

“But you went looking for them.”

“I did.” His gaze turned appraising, a gentle challenge.

She sighed, and went to sit on the bench opposite him. Her muscles were still deeply sore, and would grow more so over the next few hours, but she was looser from the heat of the shower, and could settle with only a little wince, and no chance of passing out. Her stomach growled, though.

Loud enough for Lance to hear, apparently. He leaned sideways and snagged something she hadn’t yet noticed: a steaming cup of instant noodles with a plastic spoon stuck in them.

She accepted them without any pride or resistance, too hungry to protest, and fell on them like a starving woman. The broth was beef-flavored, and a few sad peas and carrots bobbed along the top, and it was the best thing she’d ever tasted.

While she shoveled noodles into her face, he said, “You know Gallo better than the rest of us. The doctors say there’ve been some incredible advancements with prosthetics, and that, in a few months, they can outfit him with one that will enable him to stay in service as a Knight.” He tilted his head. “Do you think he’ll want to?”

She considered a moment, chewing, but didn’t have to think long. Gallo was, as blunt as it sounded, simpler than her; his motivations were purer. “He has no family to go back to; no money saved up. This is his end game, for better or worse. And he’s got major hero-worship for Tris. He’ll stay; he’ll say it’s what Tris would do.”

He frowned. “He really admires Tris, doesn’t he?”

“In boot camp, he had magazines. And more than one poster.”

“Shit.” He sighed again, and let his boots slide outward across the tiles, until their toes nearly touched. “Is it – more than strictly professional admiration?”

“Yes, but if you tell him I told you that–”

He offered his palms in surrender. “I won’t. That’s none of my business.”

She frowned – but mostly to herself. She was too tired, and, in the moment, too grateful to be warm and clean and fed, to glare at him. “You think I’m your business, though.” It sounded faint and petulant, and she was exhausting herself with all this anger she couldn’t let go of.

Her words didn’t seem to offend him, like they had before. “It’s not my business if one of my Knights has a crush – especially if that isn’t the thing that jeopardizes missions,” he said, evenly. “But itismy business when one of my Knights is on a suicide mission, hellbent on getting herself killed any way she can.”

She drank the last of the broth from the cup and set it aside. “Right. If I died, who would kill all the conduits?”

His smirk was edged with fatigue – and not only from today. This was soul-deep. Rose knew she was exhausting for him. “You are surprisingly ferocious. You have a knack for this. But, believe it or not, I don’t want you to die because – well, because I like you.”

“You don’t.” Faint protest, because she could tell that he did, and had known it for a while now.

He said, “I’m sorry about the way things played out today. It made sense to create a net around those two, and slowly close it. I didn’t think that you and Gallo would be the first ones in contact, not with our angles of approach.” He wiped a hand down his face, gaze shifting inward in a moment of reflective regret. “I’m sorry.”

Simple words, and ones she’d felt owed – up ‘til now. Seeing the way his face changed, that flash of doubt and hopelessness, made for a hollow victory. “I engaged with them before ending up downstream with Gallo. I knew what they looked like, and what they were armed with. I should have radioed.”

“Yes, you should.” His face blanked with surprise. “Engaged with them how?”

She gave him a brief run-down of the chain of events.

“That idiot,” he said of Gallo, without malice. “He didn’t sense her behind him?”

“It was raining hard. I didn’t sense them until they were right on top of me.”

He nodded. Studied her for a few beats. Said, “Will you call me an asshole if I say that this is a dangerous job, and sometimes shit happens?”

“It is a dangerous job, and shit does happen.”

“He’ll be a better soldier after this, if he stays. Hardship makes you smarter, and more careful.”

“It does.”

He cocked his head, expression softening. “But that doesn’t mean you should deny yourself basic comfort.”

Back to her again, always back to her; back to wanting to fidget and divert his attention.

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