Page 46 of He Thugged Me First

I nodded because she was absolutely right. Before I could respond, her phone started ringing, and she excused herself from the table to take her call.

I sat there for a moment, just thinking. The one thing I was afraid of was getting too damn comfortable, only to be wasting my time. That was the last thing I needed when I could be working on myself. My entire life, I had put everything into mycareer and making sure I landed here, and now that I was here, I realized that I had wasted the time I had left over with Chase. It shouldn’t have taken me to run into Mazzier for me to see the problematic aspects in what Chase and I had. He shouldn’t have had to find a different woman and hide her. We should’ve had this talk ages ago and let one another out of our situation. What I didn’t get was why I was still receiving calls and texts from him regarding our relationship. Feeling my purse vibrate, I reached into it and pulled my phone out. Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I shook my head. I had definitely conjured this fool up. I wondered if he felt me thinking about him and decided to call me. Instead of sending the call to voicemail like I always did, I answered.

“I love you, Gayze, and I messed up. Let me make this right.” He started the call off begging.

“C’mon, Chase. You gotta give this a rest. We’re done. There’s nothing we can?—”

“Why? Because of the guy in your office? He isn’t for you, Gayze. I could see it in his demeanor.”

I shook my head and didn’t respond. Instead, I hung the phone up and set it on the table. He still wasn’t at the point where he’d get the hint, and I knew for sure I didn’t have enough breath in my body to convince him.

“Sorry I took so long. That was Miles. So the gallery canceled the exhibition. Turns out, the artist has some type of bug, and he’s recently traveled. They don’t know what it is. Dude is like really sick.” She shrugged.

I shook my head. I didn’t let her know it, but this meant I’d be home in front of a TV in no time.

“Do you love him?” she asked out of nowhere.

When I looked up from the table at her, I could see in her eyes that she was waiting on an answer. Unfortunately, I didn’t have one for her.

“I don’t know. He makes me feel things I haven’t felt in years, but?—”

“No buts. Feel how you feel and bask in it. Where are you going after this? I bet to see him.” She had this cheesy smile on her face.

“Nah. He’s at Canez, and I really don’t?—”

“Girl, bye! Those reruns ofSupernaturalcan wait. Pull up on that nigga and take him home.” She winked her eye at me.

I think it’s safe to say that I didn’t go straight home after dinner with Autumn. I ended up taking my ass to Canez to pop up on Mazz. It didn’t take me long to get there, but it took me longer to get out of the car. I definitely wasn’t a people person, and crowded spaces just weren’t my thing. After a while, I ended up getting out of the car and going in. Once I was in, I looked to my left where he said his office was and walked toward the stairs. He claimed he didn’t frequent the floor or in the sections much, that he spent most of his time in his office overlooking the spot. The closer I got to his office the wider my smile got. For some odd reason, I couldn’t wait to see this man, like I hadn’t just seen him ours earlier. When I got close to the door, I heard a female voice.

“C’mon, Mazz. You weren’t claiming you had a girl when ya dick was in my guts or my mouth. I mean, really, what is this?”

The moment I heard her statement, the butterflies in my belly died, and it dropped. My ears were telling me one thing, but my eyes needed to see this. I was a visual learner, so I needed to see this. Quickly, I pushed the door open just as I heard his voice.

“Fuck outta here, Honey. You knew what it wa?—”

When the door opened, all I could do was shake my head. This nigga was in his briefs and she was shirtless. She was the first to look at me, then he looked up from his phone, and his eyes read exactly what my lips uttered.

“Gotcha,” I mumbled, feeling frozen in place. I had fucked up and was feeling all that I had avoided over the years. I stayed with Chase because he was the life vest. He was safe, and though he cheated, I knew all that he was capable of. This nigga right here before me, I knew nothing of his capabilities, and I hadn’t even tried to learn them. I’d allowed the right words and a slick smile to slither between my thighs and into my heart.

“G, let me explain.” His voice filled the room as his eyes bore into mine. I was entranced until I realized the three headed mutt was walking right toward me. I snapped out of the trance I found myself in and I hauled ass from his office. Once again, I had fucked up, and now all I wanted to do was get my mind off of it. I wanted to forget I ever allowed him to explore the inner depths of me, both physically and mentally. I wanted to forget I’d allowed him to even know me after all these years. The pain I was feeling had me wishing I never saved this nigga’s life months ago.

MECCA

I probably shouldn’t have been here, sitting across from him, but I was. Though Kasair would’ve preferred I sent the man a long text message and blocked him on all lines of communication, I couldn’t. I wasn’t built like that; he had gotten back into town a few days ago and hit me up asking if we could talk. That was fine because Justice and I would talk for days. That was one thing I valued the most about the time I had spent with him. I was already eating when he finally arrived an hour late, and now he hadn’t said a word. Instead, he just peered at me while I took bites of the juicy cheeseburger in front of me.

“How are you?” he finally asked.

I nodded. “Fine and still breathing. You?” I reached for the drink in front of me.

“Missing you.” He nodded in my direction. “I did a lot of shit the wrong way. I expected you to just drop everything and come with me, not taking into account that you had responsibilities that didn’t revolve around me. I’m sorry about that.” He was lying through his teeth, and that annoyed me. I wondered if he realized all his Vegas activities made The Shade Room. Though I didn’t care, I also didn’t like for somebody to play in my face like I was some dumb broad.

“You’re right, but I’m not here to fix anything, so I can’t let you go on. What I will do is apologize that I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m seeing someone, and it’s serious.”

He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he just looked at me and narrowed his eyes. “You wild.” he muttered, shaking his head and standing. “Here I am tryna?—”

“Nigga, don’t try that. You have bitches, and I’m not the only female you did this ‘I care for you’ ass role for. I’m probably just the only female that kept it the fuck moving on your R&B love acting ass.” I stood up to leave. “Y’all niggas love to act like y’all eccentric and have these vibes, but yeen shit and damn sure not worth the labor pains ya mama went through to bring yo’ stupid ass into this world.” I was pissed at this point. I didn’t want to talk, so I was grabbing my purse to leave.

“Fuck you, bitch.” He allowed that to roll off his tongue.

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