Page 61 of He Thugged Me First

I laughed my ass off. She was talking about Cardi B. “Have you put any thought into what we talked about last week?” I asked her. I had been trying to convince her to come live with me. I would feel much better knowing she was safe and not living alone in our old neighborhood. At eighty-five it was either that or a nursing home. She was up there in age and I didn’t want her falling or having any kind of accident and not having anyone there to help her.

“And I told you I didn’t want to crowd your space, plu?—”

“The stairs, I know.” Just then I got an idea. “Do you have plans today?” I asked.

“I'm an old gal, I don’t have plans.” She looked at me like I was trying to crack a joke.

“Good then, let’s go.”

She looked me over like I was crazy before she nodded and stood to her feet. I grabbed what I needed and we were out of the door. When we got to my car, I walked around and opened her door for her to get in. When she was in, I walked over and got in on my side.

For the remainder of the day, I took my grandmother house shopping. I swear I wouldn’t have wanted to spend my day anyother day. Of the four homes we looked at, she loved two and I ultimately told her the choice was hers. I just loved seeing the joy in her face, she’d love it and I could tell. The homes we looked at were large enough for her to have her own space and me to have mine. Once I dropped her off, it was time for me to go pick my baby up from puppy care and I was going home.

My soul hurt.It was that simple and that easy to say because I’d come to grips with the pain I was in. I’d come to grips with everything going on with me and I accepted it. For weeks I had allowed myself to obsess over everything and feel it, but now it had to change. I could no longer sulk in my feelings or carry my wounded heart around with me. The only thing helping me was that Mazzier had stopped calling me so much, but the texts never stopped. I don’t know how many times one could say sorry at this point. I don’t know why I couldn’t just block him. It irritated me that I couldn’t.

I zipped my jacket up getting ready to walk Oz. He was definitely something that kept me leaving the house. My biggest fear was that he’d take a poop or pee on my white carpet, so I took him out way more than I probably should’ve. The good thing is we didn’t have any accidents, so that meant I was doing something right. I picked his small frame up and I walked toward my front door and onto the elevator. I hoped this was quick because Chicago was definitely getting colder and colder. Once we stepped outside, I gripped the little bags and watched him sniff around until he crowned down to pee.

“Damn, I hope yeen feeding him that much that you gotta be out here every hour like that for real.” A deep tone that I didn’t recognize pulled my attention from my puppy. When I lookedup, I was looking into a pair of the most intriguing dark irises. Then I took him in, he was fine. That word didn’t even do the tall handsome specimen in front of me justice.

I blinked myself from the thoughts sliding through my head and giggled, he’d definitely caught me off guard and now I’m pretty sure I looked crazy. “I have white carpet, I really don’t want any mishaps.”

A deep chuckle escaped his lips. “You crate training?”

“What training?” I looked at him confused.

He laughed again but this time he reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out. “It’s when you buy a cage and you use it to train the dog.”

At this point I turned my face up looking at him. “Excuse me, Mr?—”

“King.” He smiled showing a perfect set of white teeth. This nigga was perfect.

“I’m not calling you King, what’s your government?”

I had to have been a comedian because this nigga was just laughing at me. “That is my government, ma.”

Oh lord! The way the ma just rolled off his lips.I nodded my head, before I glanced down at my baby. He was sitting his lazy ass on the ground looking at me.

“How about we walk up the street to this lil’ Starbucks so I can get one of them milk drinks and I explain the crate training to you?” He asked.

I looked him over hesitantly before I nodded in agreeance.

MAZZIER

At this point I wasn’t even exhausted, my fucking brain was racked. Too many thoughts were running through it. I was used to thinking most of the time, but this was different. I felt like Iwas all over the place and trapped in my mind. I could find peace or rest no matter how many times I crawled my ass into my bed or between a set of thighs. None of them were her, and she wasn’t giving me a chance to fix it. Instead she was avoiding me and moving as if she didn’t feel the hurt I felt. With everything going on, one thing was very fucking clear. I missed her. I missed the way every time she was in my arms she brought about a peace and clarity I wasn’t used to. In such a small amount of time we’d created a routine that I was damn near depended on. Now here I was throwing myself into work, random sex and drunk nights. This wasn’t me, shit I don’t know who I was becoming. I blinked myself from my thoughts and reached across the desk for my phone. After unlocking it, I searched for her number under my recent calls, before I found it and clicked it. It rang a few times before going to voicemail. “Look , I done gave you yo time and I?—”

“Nigga, ya look miserable.”Kasair walked into my office.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and pushed the end before focusing on him.

“Damn, she still ain’t fucking with you, huh?” he asked.

“Nope. It’s just?—”

“Don’t explain that shit to me. You’re toxic and I’m reformed. What you need to do is pull up, lay some pipe and tell her y’all should just be friends. That way yeen around here looking like a fucking simp.”

I shook my head and looked at him. I swear this nigga thought everything that came out of his mouth was smart when I fact he sounded like a damn fool.

“Pull up on her. Act the fuck up.” He sounded like the lil’ voice in a nigga’s head that made him do some dumb shit. That was the same voice that I heard that night with Honey in my office.

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