Page 65 of He Thugged Me First

This morning I was up before the sun and I hit the ground running. I would’ve loved to sit in bed with Mecca like she wanted me to, but she knew the type of nigga she fucked with. I wasn’t the type of lay up all day. I made money and handled shit even when I probably ain’t even feel like it. The reminder of those cold nights and moments when it felt like my stomach was touching my backbone motivated me. Even though I’d never go back there willingly, I wanted to make sure that my offspring didn’t feel shit I went through.

I had Quari meet me at one of the warehouses and we walked through making sure everything was moving according to schedule. This business ran itself most of the time, all we needed to do was be around to maintain things. We didn’t spend long there before we went our separate ways and I headed toward a space I avoided on most days. I had never in my life met a motherfucker so toxic that they beat my poops out with it. It was like this nigga bathed in misery and bleach, so every time he was around the stench oozed from his pores. I love my pops but he was miserable as fuck and he didn’t want a soul to be happybecause he wasn’t. He was so miserable that his health looked like it was declining, when in fact it wasn’t. When I walked up his pathway he was sitting on the crate spitting out sunflower seeds.

“You don’t come see a niggaoften, what you?—”

“Did you know?” I asked, glaring at him.

“Know what lil nigga? You walked up on my peace with rocks in ya jaws.” He mugged me.

“That she was this close.” I responded, referring to my mother.

“Where the hell is she at? That bitch owes me my good years.”

I turned my face up looking him over. The realization that I had wasted my time coming this way was setting in. All my life there wasn’t anything I could depend on my father for. If he wasn’t drunk and trying to put his hands on me, he was saying some shit. His miserableness made him unable to be a parent. Being raised by him let me know what I wouldn’t do as a parent if I ever became a parent. The funny thing is that time was coming and though it wasn’t a lot I was scared of, that was one thing.

“What ya lookin like that for? You gonna take up for that bitch after she left us?” he looked at me craning his neck.

I knew better than to get into this argument with him, it always ended the same. He felt justified when I yelled and raised my voice with him, but today I wouldn’t. I had way too much shit on my brain than to be sitting here beefing with my pops over history. Bottom line was that my mother left and she didn’t look back. I don’t even know why I came over here to even ask anything in the first place.

“You good? Do you need anything?” I stood from the banister that I’d leaned against.

“Naw.”

Without another word, I left his space and got into my car. I didn’t need anything he had going on tainting what I had. When I went to see my pops, I tended to fuck up, or let his energy consume me and I didn’t need that. Besides recent events, life was going well my way and I intended to keep it that way. I was preserving the peace if not for me then for Mecca and my seed. My thoughts were ended abruptly by the ringing of my car and phone at the same time. I never understood why if they were connected they both bung giving off different sounds. When I looked at the screen in my car, I saw that it was Mecca. She was checking in because I dropped baby girl off at school today and didn’t wake her.

“Yeah, Mec.”

“Good morning to you too, nigga. Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked.

“The way you were snoring let me know you needed ya’ hibernation time, so I took care of Mel.”

She laughed. “I bet the fuck you did, you took her to McDonalds for breakfast, didn’t you?” she asked.

“Yeah, she asked for it. what the fuck is wrong with a sausage McMuffin and a hash brown? Shit, I even got her the orange juice for the vitamins.”

“Nigga, Vitamin C!”

“There you go with that yelling shit. Let her eat what the fuck she wants before she be on one of these shows over weight because she started sneaking snacks and shit.”

That pulled a laugh from her big mad ass. “I can’t stand you.”

“Yes the fuck you can.” I smiled because I knew she was as well.

“Where are you?” She whined.

I laughed. “Handling some shit. I should be home in a few.” I silently had to laugh at myself because I had been lowkey spending so much time at Mecca’s crib until I didn’t know I hadone of my own. I rarely went home and when I did, Mecca would nut the fuck up.

Once I finished talking to her, I pulled up to Canez, my boy had been off lately and I understood that, but he was the same nigga who taught me that in order to run shit I had to be in the right frame of mind at all times. When I walked in he was sitting at the same in the same spot as last time, at the bar.

“Did you fix it with Gauze?” I asked silently, crossing my fingers that he had. She was what had him off his square. Even though he was done with the streets, I needed him to still be alert.

“Thought I did, but she ghosted me. I ain’t ‘bout to be out here chasing a motherfucker that doesn’t want to be caught.” He tried to sound convincing but I saw right through it. I’d let him think I believed him though.

“Bet.”

“I had Keenan hitting the blocks tryna’ find out whatever the fuck he could about this nigga Miles, but it’s like old boy is either a ghost or got some loyal motherfuckers under his belt.” He sounded pissed about that.

“People don’t hide for long. Wha—” Before I could finish my sentence, I felt cold steel against the back of my head. I glanced to the left and another gun was aimed at the back of Mazz’s head.

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