Page 67 of He Thugged Me First

“Fuck that, even the bitch’s name doesn’t even sound legit.” Quari shook his head. I expected that from him, because he was hella paranoid. Standing to my feet, I walked over toward the window and looked out of it. For the first time in years, I had nothing but murder on my mind. This was the third time something like this had happened and it was obvious somebody wanted to pull me out. What they didn’t know was that they got it. It was simple. I was no longer listening, the game had changed and I had to adapt with it in order to make it out alive. Things were definitely hitting too damn close to home and I’ll bedamned if I saw anybody I considered family lying on a metal drawer.

“Sass said she’ll have that on old girl tomorrow morning, can you stay ya ass out of trouble for that long?” Kasair asked.

I laughed.

“I’m dead serious, find you some pussy and a secure space to crawl in that shit. stay fucking occupied.”

“That’s a plan.” I nodded my head as we exited Canez. It was just like Quari’s paranoid ass to have his heat out while I locked up, but then again I didn’t blame him. Things were deep at this point.

Earlier I’d toldKasair that I was done chasing Gauze, but could that be true? After that night she made sure to steer clear of me and any texts I sent her were met with the not delivered symbol. She had even made it a point to switch her schedule up. I knew I had fucked up, but damn G wasn’t holding back the punches. The way she let me crawl between her legs that night gave me hope. I felt like she wanted me to come home, but then again the next morning it was different. She reiterated the same shit to me about how she couldn’t trust me. What she wasn’t taking into consideration was that no man was perfect and I made many lapse judgment calls as we all did. Gauze just wanted shit to be as perfect as she was, but I was far from it. She made me want to be perfect for her, though. Instead of calling her like I always did at this time of night, I picked up my phone and dialed Honey. Hopefully her and her girl Red were up for the night.

“Yes, baby?” she asked.

I laughed. “What is your night looking like?”

“Whatever you want it to as long as you’re coming to pick me up.”

“You bringing ya girl?” I asked. I was looking to have some fun and take my mind off all the shit I had brewing in the streets.

“Only if you want me to.” Her sultry voice had me bricked up instantly.

“I should be pulling in front of ya crib in about two hours, don’t have me waiting or Imma pull off.”

“That’s just fucking nasty.” Mecca looked at me with disgust written all over her pretty face. Mecca had called me earlier telling me Mel wanted to see me. Instead of going about my plans, I drove here to see my baby. Mel was the purest thing in my life, so every time I looked at her and thought about when I pulled up to that school and she wasn’t there, I became enraged. I blinked off my sudden anger and looked at Mecca. She was studying me like she always did.

“Nah baby, that’s fun. Ain’t that right, Kasair.” I smirked.

“Don’t get me in yo shit, my home is happy. I’m tryna keep it that way and you know how she’ll bug up. I’ll wake up fucked up.”

I laughed because he was dead ass serious.

“So you really ain’t gonna fix things with Gauze?” She asked.

“Gauze don’t wanna fix shit with me so, it’s whatever.” I shrugged like it didn’t matter when in fact it did. I fucking missed her but shit happened.

“Yo, you sound like a bitch. Fuck what she wants to do, I’d be at her fucking door with the semi ready to commit murder-suicide. I’m ready to die about mines and I can bang it.” Kasair nodded his head because he believed everything that he said.

I glanced over at my sister and her equally toxic ass was nodding her head in agreement.

“Nah, see what y’all got right here is out right toxicity. If a motherfucker don’t wanna be with me then so fucking be it, it’s more pussy out here than that one.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“You’re saying that now, but you walked around this bitch without pockets on those sweatpants. Matter fact I bet ya ass got that Henny still seat belted in the passenger seat of your car. Nigga you hurt bae right now, and I ain’t judging you.” Kasair shrugged his shoulders.

I wasn’t about to disagree because he was right on the money but I damn sure didn’t have to verbalize it so I shrugged before I spoke, “It’s too many bitches out here for me to be around here chasing Gauze, she’ll come to her senses and realize she let me go soon or later. But until then I’m about to have my milk and cookies.” I stood from my seat and nodded my head. It wasn’t like I was in denial or some shit like that, I was just accepting it for what it was. I mean it was all I was willing to do at this moment.

QUARI

When I left Canez I dropped the duffle bag off to the crematory and took my ass home. I was tempted to pull up to old girl’s crib and check her out because something didn’t feel right and I was willing to put money on her being how whoever got into the club on the one day of the week that it was closed. Nothing was adding up to me and I hated it, because I was used to things being clear. This was different for me and I didn’t like it one bit. From what I could see the money was good and I refused to not have my boy’s back. Being who I am, I’m so used to pulling the trigger and getting rid of problems that I ain’t used to this waiting game. If anything, I hated the waiting game. It left you more vulnerable and open to threats. Had Mazzier allowed me tofind out what needed to be known in the beginning, we wouldn’t be here with an impending threat from his imaginary brother. Hell yeah I was calling that nigga Casper at this point because the way I saw it was he was continuously mentioned but nobody could tell us shit about him thus far.

“I feel like my stomach is in my butt.” Love’s pain-stricken voice pulled me from the thick clouds of my thoughts.

“I told you that you shouldn’t have drunk that fucking milk, you’re borderline lactose intolerant and we don’t even drink that shit.” I mugged the gallon of two percent milk that she’d begged me to bring home when I came in. I knew I should’ve just got her ass the vanilla almond milk that I always bought.

“You don’t know everything.” Her dramatic ass sat down on my lap and put her face into my neck. “It hurts.” She was whining and on the verge of tears, but she was so fucking bull headed that she was refusing to go to the hospital unless she was in labor. She claimed she wasn’t gonna be one of those females that rush to the hospital only to be embarrassed and not in labor. The fucked-up thing is neither of us knew how labor looked so we didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“Then let’s go to the fucking hospital.” I rubbed her back. I was trying to support her the best way I could but this shit was new to me.

Before I knew it she hopped from my lap and she was trying to do some yoga pose . She claimed it felt better when she stretched, but it didn’t seem to be getting any better. Her bright ass face was beet red and I could see the pain all in her eyes. “I don’t wanna go.”

---