Page 204 of The Fae Girl 1

“If you have children they will be Fae.” Jelric said back.

My chest tightened. My panic twisted just a little. Would that be Uther’s new plan now, use me as breeding machine? To create a Fae army through me?

As my panic turned to anger I felt something else. Fain. He was sending something through the bond, some sort of calm, like he was telling me I was okay, I was safe no matter what my blood was and that he’d never let that happen.

I clenched my fists sending a flash of anger back at him. I didn’t want his reassurance right now. I didn’t want anything from him.

Uther and Jelric were talking, as if they didn’t notice, as if they couldn’t tell what was going on between us.

“We need to keep this quiet.” Fain said quietly. “If anyone else knows what your blood is you’ll be in even more danger.”

More secrets. Like they hadn’t done enough damage already.

“I agree.” Jelric said. “We have to conceal this at all costs.”

Uther frowned before nodding.

“What does this mean for my magic returning?” I asked quietly.

“I can’t say for certain but it does make it more favourable.” Jelric said.

I nodded.

The relief felt palpable even if it was just words.

I needed my magic back. I needed it more than food, more than air, more than anything else.

I clenched my fists, fighting the overwhelming grief inside me.

It would come back.

It had to come back.

There was no way I was destined to live like this, destined to live in this world, having tasted it, having felt my power only to have it stripped away before I could do anything meaningful, before I could become anything meaningful.

No. It had to come back. It just had to because I couldn’t go on without it. I couldn’t be me without it.

“Alice.” Fain said quietly.

I looked up, my eyes meeting his. Something inside me stirred. That god awful bond we’d created.

“Are we done?” I asked turning my eyes from him to Jelric’s.

Jelric nodded and with that I left, not even bothering to bow in my haste to be gone.

She existed and yet she didn’t. She was alive and yet in so many ways she was gone, utterly lost to me.

I spent my days feeling every moment of her pain, of her grief. I didn’t know how to help, how to fix it. Every time I reached out, every time I tried to connect to her through our bond, she pushed back, lashed out, fought against me.

I could feel her anger. I could feel it seething under the surface.

When I closed my eyes I dreamt of it, of how it twisted inside her, of how it devoured her.

And when I awoke I felt nothing but her emptiness. Nothing but her despair.

I tried to speak to Nela, I tried to get her to help except she wouldn’t do a thing. She refused. She too was furious at me, furious at how I’d betrayed Alice.

And deep down I knew I deserved this.

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