Page 206 of The Fae Girl 1

I heard the servants whisper it. I heard the guards mutter it.

And all the while they glanced at me, glared at me because I was meant to be their saviour and yet here I was, useless.

I hid in my rooms most days, my grief and wretchedness as painful as if I were still on that pyre, burning.

But at night, at night Nela and I would sneak out, climb the stairs to the Observatory and sit for hours.

She didn’t say a word. Like she understood that there was nothing to say, nothing to fix this, and yet her presence was comforting.

I’d stare up at the stars. And in anguish I realised that even they looked different. That colours were less vivid. That the sparkle of them not so bright.

And when that realisation set in I sobbed all the harder.

I didn’t know where Fain went, only that he left. I could feel him through the bond, feel his remorse, his pain, and though it felt genuine enough I didn’t want to believe it.

I couldn’t believe it.

But fighting him, fighting what we’d become, was as exhausting as constantly pining for my magic.

And with every day I think it broke me more.

The day he returned I tried to ignore the way my heart reacted, the way my body seemed to scream at me to go find him.

Jelric sent word that our lesson was cancelled, that the High King needed him, and after being hauled up in my rooms I let Mira persuade me to go for a walk, to go down to the gardens and get some fresh air before breakfast.

If I was honest a part of me wanted to see him, to see Fain, to bump into him in the corridors, or catch a glimpse of him as he walked past. But I hated that part of me. I rallied against it even as I still walked amongst the roses, still cast my eye about. Searching.

Indi and Nela stuck close to us. Mira chatted away and I pretended to listen, pretended to pay attention.

And then suddenly Nela stopped, holding her hand for us to wait. Shooting me a warning look that made me pause.

We stayed behind a tree, half concealed by its leaves, as we heard the sound of boots crunching on the gravel.

“They’re there are they?” A voice growled that I didn’t recognise.

“Yes your highness.”

“Good. Make sure they are suitably prepared. I won’t have us looking fools in front of Uther’s army. Won’t have that bastard Prince showing us up either.”

“No.”

The footsteps paused. “And still no sign of the girl?”

“Nothing.”

“I wonder if she even exists. If it’s not all some play on Uther’s part.”

“King Hayes said that he saw her.”

A man snorted. “King Hayes was probably drunk. I doubt he can tell the difference between a Fae and a five piece whore.”

Someone mumbled a reply but I couldn’t hear it.

“If he does have a Fae why is he not showing her off, or at the very least bringing her to battle? Why am I sacrificing my men when he has such a weapon as that at his disposal?”

“I don’t know your highness.”

The man snarled. “Whatever it is I want to know.”