Their voices drifted off as they walked further away and as soon as the sound of their boots disappeared I turned on Nela.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“King Ide.” Indi said scowling.
“You don’t like him?”
She shook her head. “No. The man is a monster.”
“Great.” I muttered. Where any of these kings decent human beings?
“We should head back.” Nela said. “The castle will be swarming with people soon.”
I nodded. We’d stayed out long enough anyway.
But as we made our way through the Upper Castle I realised we were too late. The halls were filled with servants, courtiers, soldiers too. All rushing about, all looking like something was about to happen.
“What’s going on?” I asked Nela.
She glanced around us. “War preparations.” She said. “They’ll be leaving in the morning.”
“Who?”
“The army. The High King too.”
My eyes widened. “He’s going?”
“Yes. Everyone is going south. They think the Sharns will make a move on the mainland.”
I gulped. If everyone was going then that mean Fain was too. I guess that’s why he was back.
No one had told me I’d be leaving. No one had mentioned it. Nela and Indi hadn’t done any prepping and I guess that said enough. That I would be left behind. That everyone would leave and I’d be here, on my own.
Useless.
It shouldn’t bother me. It shouldn’t make any difference and yet it did.
I was meant to be there, with the army, helping. I was meant to be fighting, using my magic to save lives and yet here I was with nothing. No purpose.
Nela frowned like she could tell where my head was at.
“Come on.” She said quietly and I didn’t argue I just followed her back lost in my own head, feeling that desperate need more than ever.
* * *
I knew he was there.I could sense it. That he was in his rooms. That just beyond these walls he was walking around, moving.
I tried to shut it out. I gritted my teeth, clenched my fists tried to through a block up and yet nothing I did would shut up that feeling.
It was late. Dark.
Maybe that was why it was driving me to insanity.
Because I knew what came with the dark. The visions. The dreams of him. He’d said I’d tormented him in the beginning and yet now he was doing the same to me. Every time I shut my eyes, every time I tried to sleep I would dream of him, dream of us, and I’d wake, weeping, half tortured by what my body was calling out for and what my head knew I couldn’t have.
I stared at the bookcase through the poor light. I’d moved a chest of drawers in front of it as if that might stop Fain from coming through if he chose. Mira had frowned confused but she hadn’t asked. She hadn’t said anything.
I pulled on my magic. I screamed in my head for it and as usual nothing came back. Nothing answered me.