Page 49 of The Fae Girl 1

“I have killed people.” She corrected me, stoking the fire a little as she did. “Not everyone can live in these castles safe and sound unless others are willing to fight for it.”

I gritted my teeth. It felt like we were back to the same old sensitive subject.

“I don’t want to fight.” I murmured.

She folded her arms. “No one wants to fight. No one wants to take lives. But we do what is necessary.”

“No.” I said. “I don’t want to be that. To become that.”

She grabbed my shoulder, pulling me around. “Listen to me, because no one else will say this, you have to fight. Just as I do. Just as Indi does. You have to fight, to help us.”

“I don’t even know how to.” I snapped.

“Jelric will teach you. This is your world too Alice. You can’t just sit on the side-lines and play the scared girl act forever.”

I shook my head. Perhaps she’d seen it. Perhaps she knew what I was, at my core. That I was a coward. That I was nothing like the brave fighter they all hoped I was.

I opened my mouth to argue. To respond. But Mira yawned loudly and we both turned.

“Is breakfast here yet?” She asked.

Nela smirked. “Any minute now.”

We, all of us, wolfed down the food when it arrived. Nela kept shooting me looks. Silent communication that whatever our discussion had been, it wasn’t over.

I ignored them as best I could, keeping my focus on my breakfast.

When we were done Mira suggested we go for another walk and I was more than happy to do so. To get out of this damn room. To get some fresh air too if I could.

Mira led the way. Or at least Nela and Indi let her. Perhaps she had the same idea as me because I found myself in a garden that seemed to traverse the space between the Upper Castle and part of the Lower.

A waft of fresh air scented with the nearby flowers hit me as we walked through arched stone entrance.

I closed my eyes breathing it in. The sun was hot but the warmth of it felt good on my skin. It felt like I’d not been outside since forever. At least not in any peaceful way.

The gardens were a mix of ornamental beds and wilder patches to the sides, reminding me of the ones back at Hollingshurst. A thick stone wall circled the whole space making the space feel intimate despite the publicness of it.

The few people we passed stared openly at me just like every time I’d been out.

The attention was uncomfortable to say the least and I wondered if my fate was to wear a damn bag over my head just to be inconspicuous.

I wanted to be invisible. I hated how everyone seemed to look and stare or worse, whisper. I felt like some sort of oddity that was fair game for everyone here.

As I half darted behind a bush to avoid the stares of a crowd a servant appeared all but stopping us in our tracks.

“Her Highness requests a moment of your company.” He said looking right at me. Making clear exactly who he was referring to out of our group.

Mira took a sharp inhale of air at the words. “The High Queen.” She half whispered.

Behind him I could make out a dark haired woman in a huge ballgown type dress under a silk canopy that I guess was meant to protect her from the sun.

I raised an eyebrow at Nela, who shrugged her ascent, before following the servant over.

“Here she is.” The High Queen said so loudly everyone nearby could hear. “Come sit beside me.” She pointed to the chair opposite her.

I hid the wince as best I could, walking over and sat down, noting that one of the servants offered Mira a chair out of earshot but still in the shade.

Was I meant to curtsey? It was too late now.

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