“Wait a moment.” I murmur glancing at my daughter. There are so many things I have to say to Sofia, so many things I need to tell her but I know I can’t do that with Lara here. I can’t speak about it because she’s too young, too innocent.
“Daddy?” Lara whispers.
“Can you go find Uncle Ben for me?” I ask her.
“But I want to stay. I want to be with Aunty Sofia.” Lara pouts.
“I know Sweetpea.” I say gently. “But we need to talk. And…”
Lara bursts into tears and my heart sinks. I wrap my arms around her, hugging her so tightly. “I’m sorry Lara. I’m so sorry.”
“I don’t want to leave. Please don’t make me.” She cries.
I look over at my sister and shut my eyes for a moment. “Okay. But I need to talk to Aunty Sofia.” I say. “Can you sit by me and try and sleep?”
I can see she’s exhausted. I don’t think she’s slept a wink since this all kicked off and her tiny body is not used to it. If I were a better parent she wouldn’t have to live like this. She’d be warm right now. She’d be tucked up in bed, somewhere safe, in a room with all her toys around her and her mummy and daddy there, reading her stories, showing her how much we care.
She nods so quickly.
I take her hand sitting down with her curled up beside me.
Sofia watches her for a moment as if she knows what I’m thinking too. And sure enough, after a few moments Lara drifts off, with my arm wrapped around her front and her back pressed into my chest.
“How is she?” Sofia asks quietly.
I shrug. “She’s traumatised. She doesn’t understand any of it. I’ve tried explaining some but…”
“She’s six.” Sofia says. “She’s thankfully too young to get it.”
I nod seeing the pain in her eyes. “Christ Sofia, I am so sorry.”
“For what?”
“For Otto, I had no idea, I was so damn stupid.”
She opens her mouth to argue and I cut across her. “It’s my fault. I should never have let you play that part, should never have let you anywhere near him.”
“I knew what I was doing.” She says. “I mean, I thought I did.”
I feel my stomach turn at what Otto did to her, what I allowed to happen.
“It was my decision Roman.” She says. “Besides, you didn’t know it would end this way.”
“I should have.” I snap. I won’t let her excuse it, I won’t let her simply brush it off. What I did was unforgiveable.
She shudders folding her arms over herself. “I wanted to help. I…” She shakes her head, looking like she’s forcing back the tears. “They buried you. They held a funeral. I thought you were dead.”
“I know. But it was all fake.”
“And Rose, did you get her out? Is she okay?”
I wince. “She’s alive.” I reply. “Darius has fled.”
“And Otto?” She half whispers. “What about him? Is he dead? Please tell me you killed him Roman.”
“He’s dead.” Koen growls.
We both turn staring at the man who’s suddenly stood in the doorway.