“How you doing?”
She shrugs. “Been better.”
I sink into the same chair I sat before. “I saw the new Governor. Governor Hastings.”
“Oh?”
“He’s sorting out the city.”
“Right.” She looks as disinterested in this conversation as I am. To be fair it’s a lame topic but I don’t know what else to say.
I let out a sigh. I’ve never struggled with Sofia before, we’ve never not gotten on. Sibling rivalry for us was just never a thing.
“How’s Rose?” She asks.
I smile. “She’s okay. Or as okay as she can be. I found a house, so we can get out of here, get somewhere above ground and try to get back some normality.”
She doesn’t respond to that. She just keeps staring.
“Ben can come too.” I add.
Her eyes react. They widen just a little as she registers what I’m saying. “You mean all of us?”
“Yes.” I reply. “It’s big, there’s ten rooms, you can have your pick.”
She shudders. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
I can see the tears pooling in her eyes. “Roman, please…”
“Do you want to stay here?” I ask gently though I’m afraid of that answer. Afraid she will say yes. That somehow Koen has gotten into her head.
She shakes her head. “No.”
“Then come with us. We can heal together. All of us can.”
Her lips tremble. “I can’t.”
“Sofia…”
“You don’t know what it’s like.” She hisses. “You don’t understand.”
“Tell me.” I say more forcefully than I mean.
Her eyes flash. She looks not in pain right in now but in fury. “I can still feel them. I can still see them. They might have drugged me but I was still there, I was still there.” She hisses. “And I’m not free even now, even with Otto dead. All I can think about, all I can focus on is my next hit.”
Her tears stream down her face. She scratches her arm almost manically. I get up wrapping my arms around her and she flinches before she relaxes into my hold.
“I’m so sorry.” I say. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“I can’t be there, I can’t let Lara see me like this, I don’t want anyone seeing me like this.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Yes I do.” She cries pushing me off. “Yes I do.”
“They did this to you Sofia.” I reply. “But you don’t have to accept it. You don’t have to endure this alone.”