Page 125 of Downfall

My eyes widen. “She’s here?”

“She’s outside in the gardens. I can take you to her if you’d like?”

I nod wanting that more than anything.

Rose

We walk down through the house. As we get to the conservatory I pause, ahead I can see her, playing with Sofia. Her hair is loose instead of the usual pigtails. Her laughter fills the air as she runs. As Sofia chases her.

I feel a flash of jealousy at that. That Sofia is with my daughter. I know it’s absurd. I know it’s unwarranted but I can’t help it in that moment.

“You okay?” Roman asks quietly.

I gulp. I’ve waited so long for this. So incredibly long. I blink trying to get some sort of hold over my emotions.

“I just…” I trail off. “What does she know of me?”

He frowns. “What do you mean?”

“What did they tell her about me? About her mum?”

“You’ve never met her?” He replies.

“No.”

He screws his face up. “What the fuck?”

“They wouldn’t let me.” I state. “They kept promising but never actually followed through. The most I got was seeing her in the park but I could never get close because her carers were there and the one time I tried she was rushed away before I could even get near.”

“Why the hell did you put up with that?” He snarls.

“You think I had a choice? You think I didn’t try? I fought as much as I could but then my father talked about sending her away and I couldn’t risk it.”

His face softens. He shakes his head muttering.

“What does she know? Does she know who you are?” I ask.

“Yes.” He says. “She’s confused. Understandably so. I didn’t get why she wasn’t asking for you but I guess that makes sense now.”

“We have to protect her.”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do.” He replies. “I won’t have anyone using my child, threatening her either.”

“I’m sorry.” I half whisper it, ashamed that I wasn’t able to do anything. That ultimately I’d failed her right from the minute she was born.

“No, you don’t get to apologise.” He says.

I flinch because I know he’s right. I should be doing more than simply apologising. I’m her mother for fucksake.

His hand cups my face, he lifts my chin to make look up at him. “You are as much a victim in this as Lara is.” He says.

“You really believe that?” My hope swells. I hold my breath as he meets my eyes.

“Yes Rose. I’m just sorry that I didn’t see it sooner.”

I give an awkward smile but I’m not sure what to say. How to even respond to that.

“Come on. You’ve come this far.” He says. “It’s time you properly met her.”

---