Page 141 of Downfall

“I wish I’d seen you.” He says. “I’d give anything to have witnessed it.”

I frown in confusion. “What?”

“You pregnant. To have seen how big you got, to have seen how beautiful you were.”

I shake my head, shutting my eyes. “I didn’t get big, not really. My belly didn’t really swell, and I wasn’t beautiful.”

“No, that’s not true.” He says. “You were beautiful they just wanted you to think that. They wanted you to believe that. But you were beautiful. You had a new life growing inside you. You had my child growing inside you. Of course you were beautiful. How could you not have been?”

I can feel them, my tears, they’re running hot down my cheeks. I know he’s not meaning to make me cry and yet I can feel it, all those emotions, all the pain of those months locked away, hidden away, only seeing my parents, only hearing their hateful words day after day.

His hand cups my cheek, he brushes the tear away, and I all but nuzzle into him.

“I wish you’d been there too.” I half whisper. “I wish so much that we could have done it together.”

He pulls me into his arms, holds me to him.

And, before I can think of all the reasons not to, I lift my face, I brush my lips against his and I’m kissing him.

He lets me do it, lets me take charge. I pull him closer to me, and for once I don’t think, I don’t consider the consequences, I just know that I need Roman, I need his love, I need his touch, I need him.

I wrap my arms around his neck, deepen the kiss, as our tongues swirl. Normally he’d be dominating me by now but he’s not, he’s just letting me take what I need.

I’m moaning, wrapping my legs around him, moving so that my body is on top of his and I’m grinding slowly, but so necessarily against him.

“Rose…” He murmurs breaking off, looking at my face.

I stare back at him, wondering if he’s going to refuse me now.

He cups my cheek, sweeps my hair back and then slowly, lovingly he kisses me again.

My hands fumble for his shirt buttons, he helps me to undo them, all the while not breaking the connection of where our lips are joined. I stare at his chest. I know we’ve technically had sex since he returned but this time it feels real, this time it feels like a beginning, a healing, and not an act of treason.

He’s got a scar, right down one side, where it looks like someone tried to butcher him. I run my finger along it, tracing the raised outline.

“Your father.” He murmurs.

I look back at him wide eyed. “When?”

“After I left. He sent assassins to kill me. He pretended it was you.”

I don’t know how to reply. What to say to that. They played him too then, they used the fact they had his number to try to kill him.

I lower my lips, kissing along the damaged skin. Kissing along his abs, where his muscles are still so defined. He’s grown with age, bulked out, lost that lanky muscular look he had when we were younger and now, now he looks like a man capable of waging war.

When I reach his belt I don’t stop. Slowly I undo the buckle, undo his trousers and he shifts enough that I can get them off him.

I pull his cock free, he’s hard, just as I expected and for the first time what feels like forever I actually want to do this. I run my lips up his shaft. He lets out a groan throwing his head back.

I look up, watching his face, watching his expression as I slowly suck him in.

He stares back at me, his face morphing into one of ecstasy but I love that we’re keeping eye contact. I swirl my tongue around his head, savouring the taste of a man I’ve loved and lost so many times now.

His hand twists into my hair. He murmurs my name as if it’s a prayer.

“I love you.” He says as I suck him in again, as I pick up pace.

I think it back, I show it in this one action, feeling as his body responds, as his hips start to lift, as he’s thrusting into my mouth.

---