Page 81 of Downfall

“I’m just walking the dog.” I murmur.

Her eyebrows raise. “Here?”

“This is a park isn’t it.” I state.

She looks pointedly at the children’s area before looking back at me. “I don’t think this is helping you.”

“What would you know about it?” I snap.

She shakes her head, putting her hand on mine. “Rose, you come here almost every day.”

I pull my eyes away from the distance to look at her. “And?”

“Maybe you need to move on. Stop living in the past.”

“How can I?” I snarl. “You think it’s that easy?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what…”

“It’s like you’re torturing yourself. Punishing yourself for what happened.”

I narrow my eyes hoping she hears the venom in my next words. “I’m not the one doing the punishing.”

Her hand squeezes mine more firmly. “We have your best interests at heart.”

“Is that so?” I mutter. My mother might but my father certainly doesn’t. I know what he sees me as. And I think he gets some sort of pleasure out of this situation, he’s certainly keen to use it to his advantage at every opportunity that comes knocking.

“Your father wants a word.”

“What?”

She jerks her head to where I can see the car waiting.

“He’s here?” My stomach twists with alarm. That he’s this close. That he might see everything I have planned out.

“He’s at the house.” She says.

Of course he wouldn’t come here. He expects me to go to him. That’s the nature of our relationship, me constantly breaking while he refuses to bend even a little bit.

“I have Bella.” I state.

“The maids can watch her.”

I want to refuse. I want to tell her that I’ll go in my own time but with where we are it feels too dangerous. I can’t afford to be petty, after all, they hold all the cards and it’s never been more evident than in this moment.

The journey takes less time than I would like. I wanted to gather my thoughts. To lock them away but I’m still half spiralling as we pull up to the Capulet house. It’s so long since I ever considered this place a home but the more I come here like this, the more it feels like a prison.

A man opens the door and my mother is there, walking around quickly as if she needs to control my behaviour. She takes Bella before I can object and passes her over to a maid who stands awkwardly like she’s never seen a dog before or knows what to do.

“Take her around the grounds.” I say. “But keep her out of the sun or she’ll over heat.”

The maid nods and my mother keeps her face blank before gesturing for me to go in.

I steel myself for whatever this is because clearly we’re about to have a ‘conversation’. Carer and Sampson are stood in the corridor outside. Just like usual. They both eye me with suspicion and I do my best to bite down the retort I’d dearly love to hurl at them.

My father is in his study stood by the window, staring out. He doesn’t even turn as we walk in. Doesn’t even acknowledge we exist.

---