I drop my gaze, deciding that I’m done talking, done going over this. I want a distraction. I want an escape.
I raise my hand, running it over those dark tattoos I’ve studied so much. Koen shifts, holding himself perfectly still like he doesn’t understand what I’m doing.
His skin is so smooth. He must wax because he has zero chest hair. I run my hand over his nipple, the one he pierced and he takes in a sharp breath of air. Do men have sensitive nipples too? I guess so.
“Sofia,” He murmurs.
“I just want to touch you.” I say quickly. Though that doesn’t explain it. I don’t want to just touch him. I’m dying to. When we left this room this morning it was all I could think about and then everything went to shit.
He grunts, lying flatter, like he’s somehow giving me permission.
We work out together most days and yet I suspect he does more, he has extra sessions when I’m not there because there’s no way him just lifting a few weights and holding a punch bag for me is enough to keep him in this condition.
My hand slides down his abs. Every single one is so pronounced. I’ve never been particularly into muscly men. The only guy I willingly slept with before Koen was skinny, gangly, nothing like the man I now know intimately.
When I reach his boxers he seems to tense more. I slide my hand under but he’s quick to grab me, to stop me.
“Sofia, you’ve had one hell of a day, how about we quit while we’re ahead?”
Something in me snaps. Something in me makes me lash out. I’m up on my knees, glaring at him. “I’m not a child.” I hiss. “I’m sick of everyone trying to protect me, acting like I need it.”
“I’m not…”
I don’t let him finish. My anger right now is blinding me to everything. “I am not a victim.” I scream. “I’m so sick of everyone always seeing that, just treating me as that.”
His face reacts, he grabs me, pulling me down, pinning me to the bed and while the old me would crumple up in fear, I’m not that girl anymore.
“I don’t see you as that.” Koen states. “I never have.”
“You hunt those men down, why? Because you think I’m not capable of doing it?” I snap back.
His lips curl like he’s actually enjoying this, like he doesn’t mind being spoken to like this. Like me challenging him right now is turning him on. “Oh, you’re more than capable.” He growls in a voice that’s far more seductive than it should be. “But I don’t hunt them for you. I hunt them for me.”
“What?”
“They touched you when the only person who has any right to do so is me.”
I blink, staring dumbfounded. Did he really just say that?
“You are mine, Sofia, you always have been. I hunt them down because they offendme. I hunt them down because they hurt you and still lived to tell the tale.”
“I’m not yours.” I gasp, more in defiance then because I really don’t want to be.
His lips curl more. “Did you forget you gave yourself to me?”
I did, didn’t I? I handed myself over to him willingly in exchange for revenge. I didn’t think about anything beyond that, I didn’t think about the future, how it would feel once all those men were dead.
Will I be content to be Koen’s plaything in ten years’ time? Will I be content to live my entire life like this? Maybe I’m a fool because some part of me is shouting yes, so loudly I can barely hear anything else.
“Fine.” I mutter. “If I am yours then it works the other way too.”
His lips curl and he watches my face, as if waiting for me to declare it.
“You are mine.” I state. “That means I can touch you whenever I want.”
“You want free reign too, Little Devil?” He growls so softly. “Is that what you need? Will I wake up to find you riding my cock, getting yourself off because you couldn’t resist it?”
My cheeks blush. I doubt I’d do that but I nod anyway.