Page 144 of Reckoning

What the fuck is this? What the fuck is this room?

My body starts shaking, my adrenaline spikes.

Why the fuck would Koen have a room like this? Has he seen those videos, then? Has he watched them? Did he get some perverse sort of pleasure from truly knowing what they did to me and then he’d comfort me, hold me, pretend to care?

I shut my eyes, then force them open as my stomach twists. Have I made a horrible mistake in trusting this man?

God, Sofia, you absolutely idiot, you did it again, you got yourself stuck in a situation you have no way of escaping.

Behind me the door suddenly opens.

I spin around and my eyes meet Colt’s. He frowns for a second before it sinks in exactly what’s going on.

“Sofia,”

I don’t wait to hear it, I don’twantto hear. Whatever the fuck this is, I have to get out of here, right now.

I race from the room. Colt tries to grab at me and I swing wide, swing hard, and punch him right in the face.

I run back towards the stairwell, back towards above ground. I’m not really thinking about where I’m headed, just that I can’t be here.

But this place is a maze. I must take a wrong turn, go down the wrong damned corridor, because I very rapidly realise I’m completely lost.

When I come to a stop, I expect to hear footsteps, I expect there to be people following me, chasing me, but there’s nothing. I turn, staring back the way I came and I gulp as I realise I’m all alone. There’s no guards, nobody.

I should go back, I should try to retrace my steps – except, what will I do then, what will I say when they find me? How will I explain why I’m here, and more importantly, what lies are they going to whisper to explain what the fuck that room was?

But I can’t stay here, I can’t hide down here forever.

I draw in a deep breath. These tunnels used to connect up to the city. That’s how they rescued me from Otto, they literally burst out of the ground. Is it possible that I could get out that way? That I could somehow find a route through? What would I do then? I’m not stupid enough to think I could simply walk the streets of Verona. That I’d be safe to do that. Whoever is after me is out there.

I don’t know what’s going on in the city but I’m more than aware of the fact Koen has doubled security, that I’m never alone and unwatched.

But then, what if he’s just done that to make me paranoid, to make me trust him more? What if all of this is mind games? Did he have those images posted to social media as part of some sort of trick?

No, he looked as surprised as I did when that happened. But that could have been a rouse. It could have been.

I gulp, palming my face with my hands, I’m so damn confused, I’m so damn conflicted.

It feels like whatever decision I make will be wrong because that’s my life, isn’t it, I never get dealt the good cards, I never end up with anything good. Maybe I really am cursed.

My heart sinks at that thought. I don’t want to cry, I’m so sick of crying but I feel my tears streaming down my cheeks. I’m pathetic. Just like always. Poor little Sofia Montague. It would have been better if I just died. If I’d never made it out of that house.

No.

I refuse to accept that. I refuse to be that person.

I’m not giving in. I’m not going to crawl up and die because that would be too damn easy for them – that’s what they want, and I didn’t survive everything just to be defeated now.

I clench my fists, determined that whatever the hell this is, I will have answers. I’m not that scared little girl anymore. I’m not going to be beaten down, lied to, manipulated and controlled. I’m done playing that part. I am done being the victim.

I strut back down the corridor, repeating that over and over.

I am so done.

I climb a staircase – it’s not the one I came down but I figure if I keep making my way up then I’ll eventually get back to where I need to be.

When I spot Reid up ahead, I have a good mind to give him a mouthful. But he’s not alone. He’s with a bunch of men, guards, and they’re laughing, drinking, clearly having a good time.