Page 29 of Reckoning

“I’m happy here.” I say, though happiness is not exactly the word to define it. More like I’m comfortable here, as long as I stay in my rooms then no one judges me and I’m free to do as I please. I go to the club house most days, I read, what more could I want?

Darius frowns, dropping his gaze, and I swear he’s staring at me, at my body but he’s at least three my age, why the fuck would he be looking at me like that?

“Is there anything else you need?” My father asks, cutting through the tension, making it ten times worse.

“No,” Darius replies, mercifully letting me go. He turns to face my father and I step back, far enough away that if I need to I can run from both of them. “I’ll be in touch.” He murmurs.

Once he’s gone I let out an exhale. Apparently I am afraid of him, but not as afraid of the raging monster now focused on me.

“You stupid bitch.” My father growls.

“I’m sorry.” I say quickly. “I didn’t mean anything, I was just…” His hand slapping my face silences me.

I fall backwards, flailing and I only just manage to stay on my feet.

“You never learn.” He states and then he seems to deflate, like he doesn’t have the strength to beat me properly anymore.

I blink back at him, seeing the way his hand is now pressed against his chest.

“Father?”

“Get away,” He bats my hand off like I’m contagious, and then he slumps against the desk.

“You need a doctor.” I say.

“I need no such thing.” He retorts.

I know I shouldn’t care, I know this man has shown me who he is enough times that I should just walk away and leave him to it, but he’s my father, my only parent, and with Roman gone, who else do I have?

I grab the pills from the drawer. He thinks I don’t know about them but he’s not exactly subtle when it comes to taking them. I looked them up when I managed to learn the name. Apparently my father has heart failure – I’ll admit I find that somewhat ironic considering he never seemed to have a heart. Perhaps it grew weak from lack of use.

“It doesn’t matter now,” My father mutters. “Roman is lost and you…”

“What about me?”

He gives me that same look of scorn, of disappointment. “What will you ever amount to?” He asks. “You don’t have friends, you don’t have allies, once I’m gone this city will tear you apart and feast on your corpse.”

I narrow my eyes. It’s not like I intentionally ended up this way. He’s the one who kept me apart. He’s the one who kept all but locked away from the world. “If I’m such a failure why don’t you let me leave?”

Oh, I’ve begged him, I’ve pleaded with him to let me escape this house, to let me have some form of independence, but he won’t have it.

He scoffs. “You think Roman wants you? You think anyone wants you? He’s probably happier in exile than he ever was growing up with you as sister.”

My eyes sting, I shouldn’t cry, I mean, it’s not like I haven’t heard his insults before. I know I’m a disappointment to him, I know because of my condition I’ll never be the daughter he wanted but I’m still his flesh and blood. Why isn’t that enough?

He pushes me aside, shuffles to his chair and plonks himself into it before shoving a load of pills into his mouth and taking a long swig from the bottle of whiskey he keeps stashed away. I doubt his drinking is doing him any favours but I keep that opinion to myself.

As he puts the bottle down he fixes me with a look. “They’ll be coming soon.”

“Who?”

His eyes drop, he stares at what I assume is the fireplace behind me.

“If Darius doesn’t deliver his end then we’ll be the first to fall.”

“What are you talking about?” I snap.

He grins at me, looking almost manic. “You may well wish Alistair killed you all those years ago.” He says. “Better to have died as a child than to live through what they’ll do to you now…”

---