Page 67 of Reckoning

Sofia

Iwatch as he walks away. As he leaves us to it.

Even from behind, you can see every single muscle and it’s hard not to drawl.

And then I realise Roman is watching me, studying me. I mentally slap myself, and fix him with a look that I hope shows I’m not taking his shit.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’m trying to help.” He says quietly.

“Really? That’s what you think you’re doing?” I retort.

“Sofia, I only ever want the best for you” He states. “I only ever want your happiness.”

“Like I’ve had a lot of that lately.”

He winces, “If I could go back, if I could undo everything…”

“But you can’t.” I say. “Neither of us can.”

He narrows his eyes, scrutinising my face. “I know I fucked up, I just want to make this right. To protect you now, because I wasn’t there for you when I should have been.”

“I don’t need that.” I gasp. “I don’t need you to play the big brother anymore. That’s half the problem, all of you tiptoeing around me, trying to fix me like I can be fixed.”

“But you can.”

“I know I can.” I reply tersely. “But on my terms, in my way.”

He glances to the open doorway, to where Koen disappeared. I don’t think he’s eavesdropping, I certainly hope he isn’t but I’ve also not said anything I wouldn’t say in front of him.

“You really want to stay here?” He asks.

“Yes.”

“And you think he can keep you safe?” He says like I don’t know it’s been Koen’s men helping to guard us from the moment we left the Tunnels.

“It’s not about safety.” I say, because it isn’t, at least, not in the way he’s insinuating. I didn’t run to Koen because of who he is, because the entirety of Verona shits themselves when he looks their way.

No, I’m here because he makes me feelsomething. He makes my soul feel for the first time like I’m not caught up in some battle for my very existence. When I look at him, I feel the kind of safety you get from being at peace. Only, I don’t know how to articulate that, how to explain that. It sounds preposterous considering everything that he’s done.

“You know I would give you the world if I could.”

My lips curl. “I thought you already promised that to Rose.”

He chuckles slightly. “Alright, you got me there.” He mutters. “But I would do anything for you. Anything that would make you happy.”

“Then let me have this, let me have your trust.”

He gets to his feet, closing the distance and, though I know he wants to reach out, to touch me, he doesn’t, he keeps his hands by his side. “I trust you, Sofia. I will always trust you. And if I’ve ever made you think otherwise then I am deeply sorry for it.”

I nod, feeling my eyes prick with tears. This last year we’ve argued so much. More than the rest of our lives put together. I know a lot of that is my fault, that the way I’ve been handling everything has caused a rift between us. My anger, my pain, all of it has made me lash out, has made me want to hurt those around me only because that’s all it felt they fixated on. All they saw when they looked at me.

But now it feels like we might be able to move on. That Roman might finally stop seeing me as his broken, traumatised little sister, and start seeing me as more than that.

“This doesn’t affect you and Koen, does it? It doesn’t change anything with your business?” I ask.

Roman shakes his head. “No, business is business.”

“Good.”

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