Page 19 of Coercion

“You didn’t want me to…” I trail off embarrassed by the word as much as what I’ve just done. Was I stupid to have let that happen, to have just given in like that and submitted?

“No,” He says. “I’m not meant to be touching you.”

I frown, staring back at him. “Why not?”

He shakes his head like he doesn’t want to say but he’s pulling me around, wrapping his arms around me like he wants to protect me. Only, I know it’s madness to even think it.

“You can trust me.” He says.

I know that’s another lie.

Another thing he’s probably saying to lull me into a false sense of security. I can’t trust him anymore than I can trust Levi or Nico Morelli for that fact.

My heart is racing. Some stupid part of me wants to believe it but my survival instincts are rapidly overriding it.

So I don’t reply.

I just shut my eyes and let him think I’m agreeing. It’s far safer that way. Act the way they want, behave the way they want.

Don’t show weakness, don’t disobey. Ever.

If I want to survive, if I want to escape all of this, I need to be smart, focused. I need to play the game just as well as all the bastard men around me.

Preston

She drifts off in my arms. In a way I’m relieved that she has because it gives me thinking time. It gives me a reprieve.

I don’t know what the fuck is happening to me, why suddenly I seem to have lost all control, all sense of reason but it’s like my heart has melted, like I’m suddenly feeling for the first time, as if every moment up until now was spent existing in simple black and white.

Oh, I know she doesn’t believe me. I can tell that my words of kindness, that my behaviour is confusing her. Scaring her even. Hell, it’s confusing me too. I don’t even know why I’m reacting like this, why I give a damn, because let’s face it, I never havebefore - but the moment we were alone, the moment our eyes connected, my entire plan crashed and burnt.

I can’t simply lock this woman away.

I can’t simply pretend that she doesn’t exist, because she’s already wrapped herself right around my stone cold heart before she even spoke a word. If I didn’t know better I’d think she’d done it on purpose, that this is all some sort of trick.

God, it would be so much easier if it was.

If she really was just playing a part, I could handle it, I could handle her; but she’s not a snake. She’s not a spy. This girl is clearly petrified of her own shadow and that kind of fear, it doesn’t come from nowhere.

She lets out a little whimper. It’s so quiet it’s like she’s fearful of making noise even when she’s asleep. She’s so used to Levi and Gunnar controlling her. She’s grown up in their toxic, fucked up world, no wonder she doesn’t know how to react when someone shows her a tiny bit of kindness.

It’s going to take time to bring her out of her shell, to show her that she is safe and I’m not sure I’m the man to do it.

I’ve already crossed boundaries, already stepped over so many lines I said I wouldn’t do.

I promised myself I wouldn’t touch her. I wouldn’t even kiss her. I wouldn’t do anything that made this relationship even close to being real. She’s too young, far too young to understand all of this and but she took her dress off, the minute I saw her body, I wanted her more than I could put into words.

Except, she wasn’t consenting. It doesn’t matter that she spoke the words, that she tried to act like she was willing. She wasn’t actually okay with this. I’ve already seen enough of her behaviour to realise what she’s doing; that she simply plays along, that she doesn’t fight. Whatever the fuck Levi did to her family, it’s clearly taught her that asserting herself, raisingher head above the parapet for any reason, only results in punishment.

And yet the minute she put my hand into her thong, I couldn’t resist. I couldn’t fight the overwhelming urge to claim her. To possess every inch of her.

On the side, my phone buzzes, and I pick it up reading the message. Apparently the party turned into a fight after we left.

Nico, Eleri, and Blaine made their excuses and got out but we kept enough men there to watch Levi just in case.

Ruby shifts just a tiny bit, and I brush her frazzled hair back off her face.

She feels too fragile. She feels too young. The kind of women I usually go for, the kind of women I fuck are so different than the girl laying in my arms right now. I’m used to confident, assertive, sassy women that can take charge, that know what they want and aren’t afraid to go get it. Women I can use and toss aside without guilt, without concern.

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