Page 107 of Depravity

The room is dark. Monsters come out in the dark. My husband is a monster.

Mooonster.

I let out a giggle, I married a monster. A monnnster.

Something opens, something moves. I can hear it. It’s in the distance, too far to be near me but there’s a steadily growing cacophony of sound that makes my heart race like it knows something I don’t.

Is that him? Is he the storm? My husband is coming back like a whirlwind.

I used to fear him. I know that much. But fear feels so far away now, so removed from what I am. Emotions feel like a mirage. Like something you dream of but never experience.

I try to roll over. The sheets are so soft and gentle on my skin. Soft.

My husband’s touch was soft, his eyes looked at me with love, but I know he used to feel other things. He used to hurt me.

I glance down, staring at the two pale legs that refuse to budge.

Budge.

Budge budge budge.

My toes are painted a pretty pink, and even though I can’t see them in this darkness, I can shut my eyes and see that perfect shade. I want to wiggle them, to show them off. But they too refuse to budge.

Crash.

I jerk more awake. That noise was nearer. That noise was closer. It’s coming for me.

Is it God? Has he decided that I’ve had enough now, that I’ve done enough. I’ve paid my price to enter Heaven, and these are the angels coming to carry me away?

“Jesus.” A man says.

The light comes on, and I only just manage to cover my eyes. They're swollen anyway. My sight is still blurred from when they mashed my brains.

My brains. Mashed like potatoes.

I’m hungry, and I like potato mash.

“Brynn?”

I don’t know that voice. I don’t know what is going on.

There should be fear here, there should be panic, but I feel nothing as the duvet is yanked off and these men who fill theroom are staring at me. They’re dressed in black. They look like an army, a swarm of beasts. Who are they? They can’t be with my husband because he would never have let them see me like this.

“Oh god, Brynn.” A girl pushes through, shoving them out the way and she comes to kneel beside me with what looks like horror on her face.

I lift my hand, tracing the way her skin crinkles.

“I know you.” I whisper. I do. It’s true. I’m not lying. I know her.

She shakes her head like she doesn’t understand something.

“It’s okay,” I say repeating those same words Conrad says to me. It’s okay. It’s all okay. Everything is fixed now. Everything is good.

“What the fuck has he done?” A man snarls.

I look at him, I tilt my head and I stare at the stranger.

“Done.” I state. “All done. All fixed.”

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