Page 116 of Depravity

He sits back in his chair, his lips curling as if I’ve said something funny. “I forgot about that.” He says in such a different tone.

I don’t know what to say. How to reply. It sounds like he forgot about us. About me.

Silence seems to settle between us and the maids bring the food. More delicious hot food. I almost squeal when I see the mash.

“Mash like my brain.” I declare, giggling.

Ingrid freezes, staring at me dumbfounded. My father waves her away.

I chew my food. I chew each mouthful. And my father doesn’t take his eyes off me for a second.

“What do you mean by ‘mashed like your brain’?” Xavier asks.

I don’t like him. I don’t know why I suddenly realise that, but there’s something about him that puts a chill up my spine. But he’s also my father’s friend. And I trust him, don’t I? Don’t I?

“My brain was broken.” I reply. “So, they fixed it.”

“How?” My father asks.

I gulp, dropping the cutlery. Remembering that moment, that pain. My hands instinctively cover my eyes and all the bruising that’s still there.

“They poked me with ice-picks.” I state. “They poked my eyes, and I thought I would go blind. But then they removed mybrain. All the broken bits came out. And now I’m fixed. And I can still see.”

Xavier and my father exchange a startled look.

“He gave you a lobotomy?” Xavier says.

Lobot-a-what? I shrug. Maybe that’s what it was. Maybe it was something else. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I’m good now.

“Lucas,” Xavier says, “If that’s true…”

“It makes no difference.” My father states, batting his hand.

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Xavier, look at her, look…”

“I am looking.” Xavier snaps.

“You’re not seeing what I’m seeing.” My father replies as Xavier rolls his eyes. “I see her, I see her mother, I see Ophelia. She’s the spitting image of her…”

“She’s fucked. She can barely string a coherent sentence together.”

“We don’t need her to talk.” My father laughs. “We just need her body, her womb.”

“Womb.” I murmur, and they both look at me.

“I’m not doing it.” Xavier states, folding his arms, dropping his gaze over me like I’ve got something wrong with me.

“We had an agreement. We had a deal.” My father snaps.

“You think I want to fuck that?” Xavier sneers.

“Like you haven’t had worse.” My father says dismissively. “Look at her, look at her body. She’s beautiful. Her breasts are big, her skin is perfect…”

“Bruised.” Xavier states. “Battered and bruised, and already used by a Blake of all fucking people.”

“We had a deal.” My father snaps again.

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