Page 117 of Depravity

“I could breed with any bitch, I don’t need…”

“An Asher?” My father says. “Yes, you fucking do. You want to be Chapter Lord, you want to replace Titus, you want themto follow you, then you need my name. You need my blood. Founder blood.”

Blood. So much blood. I remember it, all over my hands, all over the floor. I shut my eyes, shaking my head. I don’t want to go back there; I don’t want to ever go there.

“Go where?” My father asks and I realise I spoke out loud.

“Oblivion.” I whisper.

He reaches over, taking my hand. “Don’t worry Brynn, you’ll never go back there again. No one is going to hurt you here, as long as you’re a good girl.”

“Good girl,” I repeat. I am a good girl. I am good now. Conrad fixed me.

Xavier pours more wine into my glass. I don’t remember even drinking the first lot, but I take a shaky hold of it and sip it to be polite.

The maids clear our plates and then bring out the desserts. I lick my lips as I see a big serving of apple crumble being placed before me.

I don’t think anything of the fact that neither Xavier nor my father have anything in front of them. That I’m the only one eating.

“She was so beautiful.” My father says suddenly.

I look up, the spoon poised between my bowl and my mouth.

His eyes seem to glisten as he runs his hand over his jaw. “First time I saw her was at a recital. She sang so well, and she had such presence. Whenever I went to see your grandfather, she would be there, waiting for me, and I’d always ensure I gave her a little present.”

I rest my chin on my hand, no longer interested in the food. “Tell me more,” I plead. No one ever tells me anything about my mother. Nothing except the fact that she’s a whore, that she deserved what she got.

He sighs. “She and your aunt didn’t get along. Giselle was naughty. She would steal things; steal presents I gave Ophelia. I wanted to take her away, but Ophelia wasn’t of age, so I had to wait. But it was so hard. Watching her, seeing how everyone else admired her…”

He trails off, lifting his wine glass to take a long sip.

“Why did you leave?” I ask. I know that’s what happened. He had to go on a trip, and she couldn’t reach him. That’s when she found out she was pregnant.

He tilts his head, “I had no choice. They were onto me. A friend helped me get away, but they’d found out about us, about the Esau. They wanted to destroy us all. I had to run.”

“And you didn’t want to take my mother with you?”

He shakes his head. “I couldn’t. She was still in school…”

His words seem to fade out as I suddenly become aware of how tired I am. How my head is spinning. I stifle a yawn, but another one rushes to take its place.

My father gives me a gentle smile. “Let’s get you to bed. You’ve had a hard few days.”

“I’m okay.” I whisper.

I am okay. I’m fixed.

He stands up, barking for the maids to come clear everything away and then he’s fixing the fire, ensuring the room is heated while I sit there in my chair, unsure what to do.

Xavier is standing now, standing at the window, like he can see through the darkness.

I expect him to leave. I expect them both to, but as the maids drop a curtsy and shut the door, it’s more than clear that that’s not what is happening.

My father walks over to me, picks me up out of the chair and carries me to the bed.

I mumble about needing a maid to help undress me, and he shakes his head.

“We can do it.” He says.

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