Page 148 of Deliria

“Rafe?”

“It’s over, Scarlett. You have nothing to fear now.”

I blink back, trying to hear the words he isn’t saying.

Nothing to fear? Alexander is dead, Vincent is dead, of course there is nothing to fear. But why are we here, in this strangeroom, hiding away? Why are we not out there, on his bike, escaping, living?

“I want to go outside.” I state.

“Scarlett…”

“Rafe.”

He sighs, dropping his gaze, shaking his head.

“Tell me what is going on.” I plead.

“Not yet.”

Panic takes hold of me. I push him away, suddenly seeing this as a trap, as a trick, another game the Forster’s are playing. Oh god, was Rafe a part of this all along?

I scramble out of the bed, and I race to the door, grabbing the handle but Rafe is there, pushing it back. Stopping me.

“Not yet.” He says gently.

“Tell me what is going on or so help me…”

His arms wrap around me, he holds me to him like I’m the most precious thing in the world. “I just wanted a little more time.”

“Time before what?”

His face says it all. His face tells me what my mind refuses to believe. And then he says it. Those hateful words.

“It’s over.”

No.

NO.

We didn’t lose. We didn’t.

I saw him, I saw Alexander in the water. I saw him drowning. I saw him disappear beneath the waves… but I went under too, didn’t I? I went into the darkness after him.

“You drowned, Little Bird.” Rafe murmurs. “You drowned, and I couldn’t save you.”

I step back, shaking my head, staring at the walls like there might be some answer there. Some reprieve.

“Drowned?” I repeat like the word makes no sense.

No, I didn’t. I know I didn’t.

“I’m so sorry. I ran after you, I tried to get to you, but I was too late.”

I gulp back the lump in my throat. He sounds so broken, so sad, so unlike him.

And then it hits me - if I drowned, if I’m dead, then where the fuck am I now and why is Rafe here? I narrow my eyes staring back at him, silently asking that question because I can’t find the strength to actually voice any of it out loud.

His lips turn up in a sad smile. His eyes tell me everything before he speaks the words.

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