Page 65 of Deliria

The waves crash far below, their roar mixing with my laughter.

I’m flying, soaring, untethered.

The setting sun paints everything in an orangey hue, and the sea mist seems to dance with me, swirling in patterns I’ve never seen before.

My skin tingles with electricity, every nerve ending feeling truly alive for the first time in forever.

I pirouette precariously close to the edge, but the drop below might as well be a soft pillow, the sharp rocks jutting from the beach could be flower petals. Nothing can hurt me in this ethereal state.

Salt spray catches my face as I twirl faster, my dress billowing around me like wings. The world spins in a kaleidoscope of colours - midnight blue sky bleeding into starlight, dark waters merging with clouds. I can’t tell where the sea ends, and the heavens begin anymore.

Time has lost all meaning. I could have been dancing for minutes, or for hours. Each moment stretches into infinity, then collapses into a heartbeat.

My blood feels like stardust in my veins, my bones hollow like a bird’s.

I swear I can see to forever, that before my eyes is the entire galaxy laid out.

The rational part of my mind is a distant whisper, drowned out by the symphony of sensations. There’s only the wind, the stars, the edge, and this glorious weightlessness carrying me through the night.

Something catches my eye - perhaps a shooting star, or maybe just a trick of my kaleidoscope mind. I chase it, feet skipping over jagged stones that should hurt but don’t. Each step sends little earthquakes of pleasure up my legs, like walking on clouds made of lightning.

The cliff edge beckons me closer, a lover’s whisper in the howling wind. I can taste the colours now - the navy darkness tastes of blackberries, the sunlight of orange mint.

My fingertips trace patterns in the air, leaving trails of ghostly light that linger for seconds or centuries.

A seabird’s cry pierces the mist, and I answer it with my own wild call. We’re kindred spirits now, the bird and I, both creatures of wind and sky. I imagine spreading my arms wider and rising up to join it, soaring over the obsidian waters below.

The thought makes me giggle, and the sound is carried away by the gusting wind.

My dress is soaked by the sea spray. It clings to my skin like a second soul.

Each heartbeat pulses through me in waves of golden warmth, spreading from my centre to my tingling extremities.

The ground beneath me feels less and less substantial.

The edge is my dance partner, and we waltz together in perfect, dangerous harmony.

Perhaps if I die here, if I die today then this at least would spare me more pain.

No, I don’t want to die. I don’t want…

But I don’t want to live either. Not like this. Not like this.

My feet stumble again. A loose rock makes me tilt forward and those waves come dangerously close to crashing down on me.

I’m not close to the edge now. I’m on it. Teetering. Caught between life and death.

One wrong step would mean falling, but falling feels like it would be just another kind of flying tonight.

Rafferty

Jesus fucking Christ. What the hell is she doing?

I race across the beach, staring up at her as she teeters right on the very edge.

She looks possessed. She looks completely insane.

“Scarlett!” I holler, scrambling up the rocks.

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