Page 75 of Deliria

It’s a small victory, a tiny sign of trust that she’s giving me. I take it, greedy for any crumb she’s willing to throw my way.

“Scarlett,” I murmur, leaning in, my forehead resting against hers. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

She pulls back slightly, her eyes searching mine. “You promise?” she whispers, her voice barely audible.

I nod, my thumb continuing its gentle caress. “I promise. I’m not him, Scarlett. I won’t hurt you like that.”

She takes a deep breath, her body relaxing incrementally. “But you will hurt me?” she asks, hearing the unspoken warning all the same. Her eyes are filled with a resigned sadness that tears at the better part of me. The part I thought had died a long time ago.

“I won’t lie to you, Scarlett.” I reply, my hand dropping from her cheek. “I will hurt you, but only in the ways you want, only in the ways you need. But I swear, I won’t be the monster in your story. I never was.”

I can tell she doesn’t understand what those words mean. That in her head, right now, they make no sense whatsoever. She looks down, her fingers playing with the hem of the t-shirt.

“I don’t know if I can believe you,” she admits, her voice soft.

“That’s fair,” I say, shifting back to give her space. “But let me show you. Let me prove it to you.”

She looks up at me, her eyes filled with a mix of fear, confusion, and a spark of hope that she’s trying desperately to hide. “How?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.

I’m pushing. I know it. I should walk away. Give her space.

But I can’t.

I need this.

She needs this.

FUCK.

I’m not a good person, why the fuck would I suddenly be all altruistic now?

I stop thinking, stop rationalising it, and instead I lift my hand, grabbing her jaw and claim her mouth again.

If she hesitates, if she considers pushing me away again, I don’t feel it.

Her hand slides up my chest, her fingers tracing the exposed skin beneath. I can feel her desire, her need. She does want this; she does want me.

And fuck if that doesn’t make me feel like a king.

I deepen the kiss, my hand cupping the back of her neck, pulling her closer. She lets out a soft moan, her body pressing against mine. I can feel her heart pounding, matching the rhythm of my own. I want her, fuck do I want her.

But I won’t rush this, won’t push her. Not now, not after everything she’s been through.

She pulls back slightly, her breath coming in soft gasps. “Rafe,” she whispers, her eyes filled with a mix of desire and fear. “I... I don’t know if I can...”

I brush a strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want, Scarlett,” I say. “We can stop right now if that’s what you want.” I force those words out, even though that’s the complete opposite of how I feel.

I’m so close to losing control, to ripping my shirt right off her body and losing myself in her.

She bites her lip, her eyes searching mine. Then she shakes her head, a small, determined movement. “No,” she says, her voice steadier than before. “I want this. I want you.”

It could be the drugs, it could be anything making her say that, and right now I don’t care enough to investigate it further. She said she wants me, that’s enough for me.

I smile, leaning in to kiss her again. This time she kisses me back with a passion that matches my own, her body pressing against mine, her hands exploring, learning, trusting.

I roll her onto her back, my body covering hers. I can feel her heart pounding against my chest, her breath coming in quick gasps.

I want to devour her.

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